I find it a tad ironic that last night I was in such a depression that I wrote up a letter to my SO, my Hatter, apologizing for being the worst girlfriend and not fulfilling the promise I made to be strong and get a job to help us end the distance (I never sent it) and this morning I received a phone call from Community Coffee House, offering me a position as barista. My mom told me once, "it has to get worse before it can get better" and I believe I've perhaps hit the 'better' part now. I should be starting on the 15th of this month with 2 weeks of paid training and then I get to go to what they call "baristaville" where I learn all about coffee, how to prepare the drinks, and I get a pin saying I'm certified. It'll be minimum wage, but once I'm certified I get tips too and I think after a while I can get holiday bonuses.

This is a crowning moment of achievement for me. I've technically been looking for a job since last fall (I had one, but never made any money and after 3 months they shut down) but I gave up pretty easily when no one would call and honestly I was looking to quit trying this go 'round because it was hurting my self esteem and I was beginning to wonder what about me was making me someone no one wanted to hire. The reason I didn't stop? Hattie. He encouraged me by saying he believed in me, he told me how proud he was when I got the interview, and today before I went and signed some papers at my job he said he was proud of me again. He's been a constant positive reinforcement in this time, encouraged my stubborn pride to never go back on my promises, and offered words that lifted me from the depths of my own hell to see me to a tomorrow that might yield lasting results.

It is because of him I have this job, in a way. And it's for us both that I accepted and now will begin the arduous process of saving every single penny I earn to be with him. Love's an amazing motivator.