I really wanted blog entry #60 to be a positive one but looks like it isn't happening.

First off, I haven't had a decent conversation with my SO since forever. The last 'conversation' we had was him telling me yet again I'm distant and acting strangely which, I'll admit, I am. I explained I've fallen into a deep depression due to several things including my leg which hasn't gotten any better and has left me practically shackled to my bed or my mom's recliner, which drives me nuts as I'm not a "watch TV all day and snooze" person. Plus he's been so into this roleplay he helped set up (I'm a part of it too but I'm really not into it that much and just use it to be able to write again) that I think he forgets about me when he gets online. Which, in a way is alright he finally has something to do and work on since he's been so upset about his writing supposedly going down the creative crapper. It's just sometimes I feel like going "hey, remember me?" but I think that's just loneliness settling in again. I'm not a social creature so I don't have friends here to go traipse off with. Just have my mom and oh boy is she fun on a bun these days, bitching about everything.

I've also decided that after my orthopedic doctor appointment Monday (I go see the results of my MRI test and if I need a brace/cuff/boot/whatever they put on legs for torn ligaments) I'm calling my manager and quitting. For one, I can't work for a good while. Two, I hate working there and the smell of coffee now causes anxiety attacks. Three, they are so disorganized that it's ridiculous. At first I never got my paychecks and I made my manager aware of this. Last night I checked the account I had them set the checks into. My first day, which I worked 4 hours and despite 1 hour being paperwork I get paid for that, they give me $1.63. My second paycheck was correct, but you can't tell me there are enough taxes on this earth in the working field to make a 4 hour shift of $7.25 an hour, $1.63. Technically I could sue them for this injury as they caused it and no one got back to me about worker's comp or anything but I'd feel like a royal bitch because my manager's been so sweet and understanding. Everyone else has acted like I was in the way, but at least she treated me nicely and cared that I was hurt.

Hopefully I won't stay in the unemployment field again too long. My birthday's in 2 weeks (Jan 7) and I turn 21 and there's this local place called "Corks and Canvases" where they teach people how to paint a certain picture and the customers drink wine the entire time. I'm thinking of applying there if they're hiring as it'd be more relaxed and it's more my style as I'm an artist. If not I'll find some place, I just don't know how I'm gonna break the news to my SO about all this.

Sorry to bog you guys down with this on Christmas Eve. I've been feeling horrid for weeks now and it just gets worse every week.