This really has nothing to do with anything current, I was just reminded of this stuff today while in the mall.

When Hattie first moved to Florida, he was put in apartment paid for by Disney that only required they take $100 out his paycheck a month. It came pre-furnished and with DSL internet, basically just requiring you pay for toiletries and groceries. He lived with, I think, 5 other guys. Maybe 4. Anyway, that's not the point. When we first got on webcam, somewhere in late March or early April (I'd go through IM logs to see but I'm a bit lazy right now and it doesn't matter the accuracy) he was in the livingroom since it had the best lighting and all I could really see was the couch he was sitting on and the window behind him.

This couch was the ugliest thing I've seen this side of forever. It was some abomination of African-meets-Asian fabric print with mismatched colors. I'm talking an eyesore. When I saw the couch I told him how ugly it was since I knew he'd had no say in picking out the furniture so it wouldn't be like I was insulting him for saying it. I teased him and teased him about that awful thing and the second time we got on skype together, he decided to aggravate me while making a fresh pot of tea and set the laptop with the camera on the couch so that I got a closeup of the print.

I screamed at him and demanded he move the laptop or I was logging off. Instead of moving the computer he got right where the mic was and got this really creepy, deep voice and started talking like he was the couch. Had the couch say all sorts of lewd and cheesy things (you know those creeps that hit on you randomly in public? Like that, basically) and so I started fighting with "the couch". When his tea was ready he put the laptop back on the coffee table and I yelled at him never to do that again, I hated that couch. Well then it basically became a game. He even named the stupid thing "Couch-tan" ( -tan being a Japanese suffix such as -kun or -sama) and gave it some weird backstory and claimed it had powers. He'd make me talk to it during phone conversations and even IM conversations just to aggravate me.

Today I passed a shop in the mall sporting a dress in the window that reminded me of the print this couch had and I started remembering all these antics and I had to laugh. He moved out of that apartment last summer so we can't make jokes about it anymore, but it was just nice thinking of the stupid things we did all because I hated his couch.