Mainly because having my blog count sit at an odd number bothers me. Miiiinor OCD.

I want to thank everyone that supported me Tuesday evening and yesterday after I went sort of AWOL on myself. I am feeling exponentially better aside from a lingering headache that's given me a touch of light sensitivity (not a migraine, just an annoying brand of head pain) and I'm hoping that will get me through some other things.

I saw my therapist yesterday and I think her reaction to the cuts on my wrist were worse than my mom's in that she sort of had that severe look of disappointment on her face instead of concern or anything else. She kept going on about the "mindset behind those that cut" and "it may feel like some form of therapy, but one wrong cut and you'll die" and so I had to listen to that, but it was an improvement from her harping on me about, of all things, losing weight. What is it with people and telling me I need to shed several dozen pounds? I'm not bedridden for God sake.

Anyhow after that we discussed my decision to null my college plans (she thinks I'm doing it because the school's turning out to be some hack, wth) and that I was trying to find a job within Disney's cell-wall confines to justify my moving there and she wasn't all too happy that I've yet to share these plans with my mother. I told her, "look, I love my mom and I talk to her about a lot of things, but I learned quickly that discussing anything involving my boyfriend, unless it was concrete and already planned and ready to go, was not happening." Mainly because back in May of last year we tried planning a literally last minute visit and I asked her permission to go before we set much up. She ended up calling every family member and telling them I was flying out of state to see 'some guy' and she ended up giving me a two hour lecture on the importance of condoms. Well his work called him in on this scheduled week off anyway (this was back when he was just getting into management, so he had training too) and we lost contact for two days and I cancelled the trip which resulted in her calling everyone AGAIN and saying I got "stood up". She gloated in it. So yeah, with this idea still in its fetal stage I'm not about to go running to her with anything. Until I have some lead, she's none the wiser.

Therapist kept telling me that I shouldn't move just for a guy and that I needed to do this and that (she's adamant I need to drive again, which I do, but until the car gets fixed I'm not getting behind the wheel of that death trap) and I need to keep my options open and I felt like double-tapping my forehead on her office coffee table. But hey, y'know, I pay her to listen to my mental problems, not my love life. I think I'm remembering why I quit seeing my last therapist. Wait, I remember why, she told me my mental problems were my fault because I enjoyed making myself miserable. They must hand out these licenses in a box of cereal, I swear.

All that aside I am honestly feeling better if not a little grumbly for lack of anything to do. If Hattie would freaking text me back I think I'd be right as rain, but I can't hold that crap against him, for all I know he made a park-goer eat his phone for calling him a name.