They say after your hardest of times comes the happiest of times. Well all my life has been one big struggle. The happiest I ever been was the first two months of this year steadily talking to him despite him being far away. Other than that, I can't remember another time I've been so happy for that long. My life has been filled with false friends who use me for my money that I don't have. I'm the brokest out of all of them yet they have the audacity to borrow money from me and not pay me back. If cowards would pay me back, I'd be $5g back in the game and have at least something to fall back on. I trusted them. I thought they were friends enough to pay me back, but I guess it doesn't even matter if they're "friends."

The last time I was really happy was when I got my dog before this past year...and when I got my dog for my birthday that was um, two years ago. I'm only the tiniest happy and can tolerate life when I see her. I have a job that calls us off for almost a month setting me back even more to save up for a car to see him. At the rate my work keeps calling us in I will in fact never see him because if he couldn't drive to see me we were talking about me visiting him when his father is away and I won't have a car by then. [This was when we were on good terms, but now there's no more "One day you'll be here."]

Since forever ago people have brought nothing but drama into my life that I'm sort of wanting to be done with civilization in my town, almost. I'm 28-years-old and just trying to relax and hang out with someone. I'm sick of these mind games. I'm sick of people's gossip when they're supposed to be people who are my friends and with "friends" like the one I used to have, I don't know why I ever needed enemies as well. I'm sick of people saying he said she said when they're supposedly adults with kids and still gossiping like high schoolers, like don't they get tired of it? I don't even do anything to people. They just think I'm someone to mess with even though I've always minded my own business. I don't know what gave off the vibe that drama people would think I'd care about their gossip. Gossip is for high schoolers. I don't care about, "Talking the talk, or walking the walk." I just want to relax. Next year better be my first year drama free I swear. 31-year-olds with three kids are still trying to pick fights with me at the bar and I'm like she sure has HER priorities in order and I don't even know this witch that came up and threatened me for no reason.