Ever since I've liked someone 8 years younger than me (who I've met on my own, not through my brother), I've been noticing my brother's friends whenever they're over. They're all 8ish years younger than me as well. They're actually a few months older than my long distance crush. I always said I would never date someone around my brother's age because that would be super weird. Well one friend of his, I'll call P, he's pretty cute with a tan and everything...but he's seen me and my brother react around each other and we often get irritated by each other, don't even care who's over and we'd just start yelling at each other when we're pissing each other off.

P has even been here when my parents were irritated by me and I was irritated by my parents. The other day, P, another one of my brothers friends, my brother and I all sat at the dinner table eating. I'm not in with my brother to where I'll have daily conversations with him. We're not siblings like that considering our age gap.

His friends never say hi to me or anything, but I feel like I caught one of them checking me out. Sometimes I feel like his friends want to say something to me, and I want to say something to them but nothing ever comes out. One of his friends has got to have a hidden crush on me they just don't want to tell my brother about it, and I feel like one or two of his friends might like me. I used to think they're very annoying always coming over playing video games, omg the thought of dating one of them, lmfao...

Well at least my family would already know them anyway.
I've always known P ever since they went to high school together, but I never really thought I'd be interested in dating P until well this past year. The problem with that is, ever since I met my long distance interest, I really couldn't care less to try to date anyone else. I just hate the fact that I never got a chance to meet my long distance interest to see where this could actually go and it's just always in my mind that "what if" I can't get over.

I haven't messaged my long distance interest in a while now, I've been getting better at it. I sometimes wish I could tell if he's dreaming about me but he would never admit that to me anymore, especially when we're fighting and he's denying we were ever anything more. I asked him once if we were truly "just friends" like he's trying to play off and deny our feelings for each other, does he really think I'd be upset about us not talking at all? I'd just be like, oh, he's busy and he'll talk to me whenever he's free like any other person that was truly just friends.

Oooo that made me so mad when he tried to play like we were "just friends" when the first few weeks we started talking we literally talked about everything and how our life would be together if we ever had a chance.