It isn't like I'm not trying to make friends. But when my roommates are still pressuring me to cheat or get so drunk that I might cheat, then it makes you feel like not going out on weekends. They are 24 years old (two years older than me!) and need to grow up a little and have morals. And Saturday was a fantastic day spent with close friends. I had so much fun, but as soon as I heard Judsen's voice the crying began.
"I don't want to do this anymore," I keep mentioning to him. Both of us know that 'this' means long distance and not our relationship. It's hard because I don't have a choice. He's what I want. But this long distance thing feels like I'm being dragged by the feet.
Ten more months, ten more months, ten more months.
In other news, this weekend I went to a ballgame and was mentioning to my parents how I needed to get back early and Skype with Judsen. A guy overheard me and he asked if I was in an LDR.
"Yes," I replied
"Oh, I was in one for three years too." He said.
I held my breath, waiting for him to tell me the bad news about his nasty breakup, what a waste those three years were, and just how LDRs don't work -- things that everyone else I meet tells me.
Instead he says, "Yeah, we got married three weekends ago and just got back from our honeymoon in Bermuda. It's definitely tough though."
Wow! My jaw dropped at that statement. He was a survivor of an LDR! Whew, what a relief it was to hear a success story - we need many more of those in our lives.
I cheered up at that, went and bought Judsen a t-shirt from the Nationals Sport Store so that when he moves to D.C. he can wear it to the games we go to.
I feel you on the feeling depressed of late, too. I've been struggling with that for the past few weeks.