Screw it, I threw the rules to the wind and got pissed off about the fact that he could talk for three minutes after I got out of work.

After working 8 hours at my horrible job, I like the solace of getting into the car, dialing his number, and having a conversation with him for a couple minutes as I go to the gym. I am spoiled, and selfish, and feel very needy, but we've gotten into this pattern for three months and I don't like breaking it.

But next time I will follow the rules because I hate the words coming from his mouth "#$*king stop it. You are just being really nasty and hurtful about something so stupid. I don't say hurtful things to you." And that cuts me short because he never says anything hurtful and I blow everything out of proportion. So we forgave each other, and went on with our day apart.

I hate this anger and biterness that seemed to appear when the distance appeared. J was always able to keep me in line when we were in close quarters and now I'm forced to try and control my own temper - a slow going process.

Lets hope I can learn this in the next year apart. *sigh*