Like a Slow Death

leonina started a blog post Like a Slow Death
October 14, 2010, 12:36 PM
Like a Slow Death

Today is his birthday and I can't be there. Sure, I saw him last weekend, and yes I will see him next week, but it's the great expanse of time from now to then that makes my heart sink.

We've been long distance for four months now, the time we spent close distance was only five and a half. We're nearing the mark where we spend more days apart than together. Our fights have become more frequent. Mostly they are about my unwillingness to accept that we won't be together for a long time. Also, the future doesn't seem to be too promising. He hasn't heard back from any medical schools and it has been three weeks since his full app was received. How discouraging.

Four months and it has not gotten any easier. Our possible closing distance date was June 2011 (we would likely be only an hour away from each other and to us that was CD). Now it's more likely he will get into a school far away.

My heart is just slowly breaking and the stress of life isn't helping. I'm quitting my job in three weeks. The constant harassment of my coworkers is hard to tolerate and I'd rather be unemployed than put up with it. My roommate situation has only gotten worse.

To distract me, I've decided to lose fifteen pounds and totally change my eating habits/ lifestyle. It's a fun thing for Judsen and I to talk about because he is already in really good shape and knows how to eat. It is great learning how to cook and I have a few items on my Amazon Christmas list to help my cooking interest.

I really miss that boy.
Tags: None
1 - 3

3 comments
- #1
  
  Stubborn Hope commented
  
  October 14, 2010, 01:25 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  I wish I had better words of encouragement... I completely understand where you're coming from - awful job, horrible roommates, not knowing where he'll be... I was there last year around this time. It sucked. We're still together, but it took a lot of talking and patience.
  
  I've started to have a healthier lifestyle too! My SO has to be in shape (he's in the military), but I decided I'd give it a shot. My mom is a dietician, so she's been a lot of help. If you have any quick questions or anything, please don't hesitate to ask!
- #2
  
  machstx commented
  
  October 14, 2010, 09:58 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  "Mostly they are about my unwillingness to accept that we won't be together for a long time." why is this?
- #3
  
  Guest commented
  
  October 15, 2010, 08:22 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  We all know how you feel. It seems like once your love is gone, you just sort of decide to screw everything else, isnt it? It's hard to keep up the optimism when your heart is so far away and you can't do anything about it. LDR's are not for the weak hearted. But consider this: do you think that if he didnt care about you or if he didnt have faith in you, he would have suggested to do an LDR with you in the first place? The stress and pain that comes with LDR is unexplainable. Everyone goes through it differently. But you have to ask yourself: "Is it worth it?" I know it's hard, you know I do. But if you want this to work, YOU HAVE TO STAY FOCUSED! I can't stress this enough. And not accepting that you'll be together for a long time? That's something I had to go through too. We've been LDR for al 6 months now, and I just had to accept the fact that I wouldnt be seeing him for months at a time. Not that he loved me any less nor I him, just that with our current situations, seeing each other would be hard to come by. I could go on for days and days about this, but I honestly wish the best for you. Don't be a stranger, you can drop a message or whatever anytime
Previous template Next

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Announcement

Like a Slow Death