Well, I feel like complete shit at this very moment. It's that awful feeling, that just lingers over you and haunts you. Yes, my boyfriend just left today. =[ We had an awesome time together this past week and I can't believe it's over already! AND today is his 19th birthday, too. He's spending his day traveling and I'm spending mine moping around. Our goodbye got postponed twice for this visit, so I guess I really can't complain too much. Last night, I went to Anthony's house for birthday cake with his family and next door neighbors. He loved my presents...a polo and a puzzle similar to a Rubik's cube. So, we decided (with some pestering from his neighbor) to go out for the night, seeing as it was his last night here. We went to the movies and saw Rango. SO FUNNY! We had a great time. Movie let out at about 12:15am or so...we decided to go on a Taco Bell run lol. Got back to his house at about 1am, and had to be back there in a few hours to take him to the train station. Could barely sleep all night because I didn't want him to go (and I was wired on caffeine from the Baja Blast we had at T-Bell lol). I arrived at his house at about 7:45 this morning and he just got some last minute things together. As we left his house, the rain began to fall ever so slowly. At this point, it really didn't set in that he was really leaving. We get to the train station and of course, can't find a spot (never can in that lot). We went to a lot across the street, and walked to the station, Anthony holding my hand tightly. He went and bought his ticket, and it finally began to become real to me. I walked with him to the platform and we kept holding hands. The train pulled in and my heart sank into my stomach. We hugged for a long time and just held onto each other tightly. He kissed me, if I remember correctly, on the lips (first time ever on the lips, and it was a peck) and we told each other we loved each other and that we'd miss each other. I was able to stay strong and keep myself from crying. Anthony boarded the train and I began to walk away, looking back several times. When I was walking through the parking lot back to my car, I saw the train pull away and I broke down in tears. It felt like a moment in a romantic movie, only it was much more painful in real life. I bawled my eyes out in my car, and of course the first song I hear is "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago. Then, "All By Myself" came on, too. D: It's as if they were trying to torture me. So, right now, I am just a complete mess and I don't know what to do with myself. I know I'm getting spoiled this time around because we're only going to be apart 13 days, because I'm going to visit him during my spring break! Can't wait! He just left, and already I wish I was still in his arms. I miss him so fucking much already! This is so pathetic. I hate feeling this sad, and I just don't feel like doing anything...my body is basically in survival mode and I have no desire to eat or to see anyone. I just want my Anthony back.