Every morning I wake up and look into the mirror and tell myself im am beautiful. I am awesome. I am (insert positive comment).
In middle school I was bullied and my self esteem was trashed! Not to mention i am fat. lol i am not over weight, im not a bit on the heavy side..no i am fat. Yet i was told in middle school that i was ugly, fat, lesbian, and was insulted harshly...i was too scared to speak up...too afraid to tell on them...and the thing that hurts the most was that on the last day of classes one of the guys that bullied me said "ey marilyn! you know we were joking right? hahahaha we cool right?" and he even hugged me...and all i could say was "Go to hell." and walked away and never ever have i let someone else put me down. Still it has taken me a loooong time to gain back some confidence.
I thought I would never have a boyfriend and now that i do have one i want to enjoy it but im scared. Im insecure of my body, today i was feeling sexy and i thought that maybe i'd have some fun and take some sexy pix for my SO. I have never done this before and so far the only thing i love of my body are my legs and my chest XD I think my SO likes my chest too...hahaha
Anyways i think that i would feel weird taking pix of myself in sexy lingerie...or maybe even if i got to see him this summer again and we would have some alone time, it would be hard for me to let him see me with less clothes. :/
what to do? anyone has similar problem like me? I think that if i let my SO undress me lmao we'd have to do it in the dark...hmmm maybe add glowsticks >> too much? ROFL im sorry
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lovemnmz started a blog post Insecure...Insecure...
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#1kiara_silver commentedEditing a commentI can relate. I was 48 pounds heavier then i am now. I had low self confidence. Still do at times, but im getting better. I was this awkward girl. Never had a bf, the one time i thought this boy was interested in me, and wanted to kiss me turns out he just thought i had a hairy lip (was before my parents let shave/wax/pluck) Just did not feel comfortable in my own body. I started to work on myself, and that's when I first met my SO. He loved me for me, and saw me when i was heavier (online) And when we first met he loved me just the same. But I was so nervous and self concious about my physical appearance. I have slight stretch marks. And just not confident, but he loves me and loves my body and that helped me see myself in a new light. lol put it in a pg-13 way, we can have the lights on and im okay with it. I still have insecurities. I think we all do, but its about realizing know one is perfect, we all come in different shapes and sizes, but its about embracing yourself and learning to love your perfect imperfections.
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#2lovemnmz commentedEditing a comment;-; thanks..that day i felt like i had to get all of that out of my system and i guess what i need to do is accept how i look infront of the mirror...but i guess im managingOriginally posted by kiara_silver;bt13921
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