Honestly, I don't have much to say. I'm looking forward to this weekend, but at the same time, I'm not. Saturday (which also happens to be my birthday) is basically is going to determine if Nix & I can close the distance this summer. No pressure, right? Ugh. I mean, I'm way beyond grateful that these companies are willing to meet/interview me on a SATURDAY morning, but seriously? It's my birthday, people. But, no. I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I will be able to see the future-husband this weekend and spend my 25th with him, since I spent my 24th birthday alone in my apartment. But I've digressed. So um, could you send good vibes/prayers/thoughts/etc on Saturday morning? Or, whatever time that happens to be for you. Or, you know, all weekend is good too. Thanks.
On the wedding front, nothing major has progressed. We've made all the big decisions, I'm just working on my millions of projects that I still have to do. Like... lol, finishing my bouquet and the bridesmaids bouquets. Sigh. I also need to figure out how to finish off my bouquet so it looks good. And I have no idea how to do that yet. Guess I'll just try out some stuff and see what works.
I think I've picked out my veil, which is yay, but I'm planning on ordering it and seeing if the ivory matches the ivory in my dress, otherwise it will have to go back to Nordstrom's. Which means I also need to check their return policy - because Nordstrom's doesn't, as far as I know, sell veils in stores. But I hate shipping things back, even if it is free returns. I just don't like it, lol. Then again, I don't like making any returns. If I didn't want it, why did I buy it in the first place?! Sigh.
Um. Yea. So, I guess life is okay. My coworker got back from Disney today and she brought Minnie ears back for me & my other coworker, because we're both getting married this year. Oh yea, I definitely wore them ALL DAY at work today. The guys looked at us like we're nuts, but hey, we're in a trailer. We can get away with some stupid crap like this. They guys mess around all the time, honestly, I'm surprised they haven't injured themselves with the crap they pull.
Also, on another note, my friend has told me at least twice now, "LAURA YOU'RE SO SKINNY" it definitely helps my self-esteem, hahaha. But right now, I do not feel skinny. I know I'm not fat by any means, but I don't feel... healthy, I guess. I've been trying to watch what I'm eating and been trying to cut back on my calories, but I've had more bad days than good. Like tonight. I totally binged on vanilla greek yogurt, strawberries, chocolate chips, pecans, and coconut flakes. Yea. I know. It sounds gross, but it was actually really delicious. (I even surprised myself!)
I won't ramble any more, since I know my blogs are boring and stuff, especially since the exciting wedding stuff is done. :P Here's hoping that Nix signs on soon, I was really hoping we could talk tonight, at least for a little bit.
I can't keep doing this. I pretend that I'm okay, but I'm not. People continually say, "Oh my gosh that must be so hard" or, what seems to be a popular "favorite" around here, "How do you do it?" WE JUST FREAKING DO. OKAY? It's one of two options: we deal with the crappy hand we've been dealt, or we break up. Those are the options. And the latter option just... no. It's not an option.
There's a reason I post on here more than I do on theknot forums, because when I complain about Nix not being able to talk, everyone is all "OMG YOU SHOULD BE SOOOOO PISSED" & I can't do it. There's no point in being mad, it just makes things worse. So, to avoid being depressing, I'll just go post a bunch in the forum instead of continuing this blog. (I promise I'm trying really hard to be happy.)
It's OK to not be constantly happy when you plan a wedding, it'll be one of the most stressful things you'll ever do, seriously. You'll be way more sensitive to people's comments and opinions, too. I don't know why, but you will be, so just try to remember to take care of yourself. Since I guess it's too late to try convincing you to drop the whole idea and go to Vegas, I'll tell you to sit back with a nice glass of wine (one of those glasses that hold a whole bottle), and try to enjoy the moment. Sending all my good luck thoughts for Saturday!
I'm sort of a scanner-reader, I'm so ADD it's really hard for me to read every single word of blogs/books/articles/whatever. So I saw the picture and went right to it. And I was like "what is that?" Then I scan-read the paragraph, and couldn't figure it out, since I didn't actually read the whole thing. Did that about 3 more times until I actually read each sentence. Gosh I could save myself so much time if I just put in a little effort the first time...
I'll be sending good thoughts this Saturday from the Caribbean ocean
PS- people tell me I look thinner all the time. It sort of just makes me feel awkward. Especially since I (like you) feel kinda gross/unhealthy/large. You're fabulous regardless
Moon, I'm all for eloping. Nix said no to it. He thinks his mom would be mad at us if we did that. (I don't think she would.) At this point, though, we've put so much $$ into it, we might as well go through with waiting, you know? Although, I am ALL FOR one of those wine glasses. I think I need to get myself one, hahahaha.
LB: That is partly why we would be excellent drinking buddies. I'm super ADD as well when it comes to some things. The reason my posts aren't ever Zephii-length is because I get distracted with... everything else.
The whole weight loss journey has me so discouraged. I'm trying, but it doesn't seem like anything is happening. Sigh. Maybe I need to put a lot more effort into working out.