Friday: I had the day off work so I could travel to Cali. No problems with the airports, had plenty of time in between flights, even got to my destination 10 minutes early! And then had to wait, since my family wasn't there.
But I didn't mind, the weather was gorgeous. We went to the beach after I got there and attempted a little surfing. I'm REALLY AWFUL and can't even get my feet under me, but I still have fun. After dinner we were all sitting around the table and my mom asks, "Since you and Nix haven't had sex, what are you going to do on your wedding night?"
Please note that my family isn't open about this kind of stuff. So... we (my mom, sister, and dad) are all sitting around the table after dinner and you ask me this, Mom? Seriously?! I responded, "Um... have sex?" "Do you know what to do?" "Yea." "How? From 6th grade sex ed?" "Sure." (I'm still a little mortified this conversation even happened.)Saturday morning: We went and got "birthday coffee" and walked on the beach - and even saw whales!! That was really awesome. Then we went back to the house and got ready for the party. My sister and her boyfriend and I left about 2 hours before the party started to give my mom a break - and went to the boardwalk and had a snack. This is when I mentioned that Mom thinks she is going to walk me down the aisle. My sister (who is also my maid of honor) told me that apparently "we have always told her that she would walk us down the aisle with Dad". This right here is causing me the most stress. I'll get back to this, though.
Saturday afternoon/evening: Party time! It went really well. I got to see family that I haven't seen in 4+ years, as well as a friend who joined the Air Force and is currently in Cali to finishing of his training before he gets stationed in Montana. We got some presents, yaaaaay. A few things off our registry, gift cards (love it), and my mother bought me lingerie. Yes. You read that right. My mother bought me lingerie. It's more of a slip than anything else, so it's very "innocent". It's pretty, though, so I have no reason to return it.
Sunday: Another morning walk on the beach (yay) and then I had to furiously pack and spent the remainder of the day traveling home. This was hell. I didn't leave when I wanted to (granted it's a teeny regional airport, so it was fine, but I was still nervous) and then my plane out was delayed a little because it got in late. Both of my bags had to be put under the plane because I had the awkward first row seat with no feet space and the overhead bins were too small for anything larger than a hand bag. No big deal. I got off the plane in LAX and tried to stuff the things I had taken out back into one of my bags... and then proceeded to destroy the zipper trying to close it. Yaaay..... Oh, and my 2nd flight was already boarding by the time we landed. Luckily the airport had a little cart waiting for the 6 of us on that flight and whisked us to our next gate. (Thank goodness for that, otherwise I would have missed the flight.)
I was informed when I got to the gate there was no overhead space left so they had to check my bag. Naturally, they gestured to the larger of my two bags. "It can't be checked." "It needs to be." "No, it can't be checked. The zipper is broken and my bag is open." "Oh. Well then the other one needs to be." Okay, fine. So they checked my bag to my final destination. 4 hours later, I'm getting off the plane in Chicago, and my bladder completely hates me. The couple sitting next to me slept the entire flight so I couldn't get up to pee (though it's not like I would have, since I hate airplane bathrooms). I'm sitting at the gate after I relieve myself and struggling with my bag, trying to fix my zipper. Then I proceeded to break the zipper. So... my awesome bag is pretty much completely useless now.
I realized that I was going to be in another first row awkward no feet space seat, so I tried to explain to the gate agent and asked to be reseated. (I'm completely stressed out and almost started crying for no reason by now). She did, and put me in a row by myself. Yay! Got on the plane, collapsed into my seat. All I wanted to do was sleep. A woman asked me as I sat down, "Do you mind switching seats with me so I can sit next to my boyfriend?" "What?" She was in a single seat. She repeated the question. I explained how I was concerned about my bag. I got a little testy with her. I almost considered saying, "It's seriously less than two freaking hours. You can deal with not sitting next to him for that long. I haven't seen my fiancé in about two weeks and I have no idea when I will see him again." But... I didn't. (Someone else ended up switching seats so she did end up sitting next to him. They were in front of me. I'm pretty sure they were making out the entire flight. Gross.)
Then the flight attendant was making her rounds and told me "Your bag can't go that way." (I had it sideways under the seats.) So I turned it. "It can't go that way either, because it's sticking out." Yea, like, 4 inches. "It has to go overhead." "I don't think it will fit overhead." "Then we need to check it." "It CANT be checked" "Well if it doesn't fit it needs to be checked" "The zipper is broken, it seriously CANT be checked" I managed to shove it into an overhead bin, thank goodness. After this fiasco I pretty much broke down completely. Like, ugly crying and can't breathe anymore and can't catch my breath because I can't calm down. Yea. That was considerably less than fun. I managed to calm down eventually and my breathing returned to normal. I tried to sleep for most of that flight, it didn't work so well. I got back to my apartment and was in bed by 1:30am. It made for a rather miserable Monday at work...
So LFAD yelled at me for the first time... I have to split this blog into two parts!!! Part 2 will be posted right after this one.
My mom has not asked "have you had sex?" but instead, she has only asked, "have you had sex with Nix?" So.... I answer the question she asks. Yup. You probably interpreted that correctly. I'm not as innocent as you think I am.