Remember this?

lyonsgirl started a blog post Remember this?
June 12, 2013, 07:58 AM
Remember this?

I think I wrote the initial blog about a month and a half or so ago, but remember how I "broke up" with this friend, R?

He messaged me last night. "Hi"

And then this morning. "Hi. I miss talking to you."

I am not dealing with this. I am so tired of it. It's not fair to me, because I know if I do reply he'll be all nice and shit for like a week. And then it will go back to what it was and I am not dealing with that. I don't have to. I am not putting myself through that crap again. It is not worth it. He doesn't respect me? Fine. But that means I'm not going to talk to him. I didn't write a "goodbye" letter to him. I don't know if he deserves one. No, I don't really want to burn that bridge, but we dated in high school and clearly that bridge hasn't been completely broken.

I'm putting up these hedges for the benefit of my relationship with Nix. This particular hedge is necessary because there were days when I felt like I couldn't have a conversation with Nix without talking about R. He apparently filled my "need to be right". Which, in hindsight, okay. Sure. We "argued", but his defenses were always so idiotic I could always "win", so to speak. Nix is always right. No, I'm not kidding. I'm not exaggerating either. He is always right, and, tbh, it drives me insane some days. He knows this. He says "I'm not always right..." But then something else will come up and he just is again. Okay, to be fair, half (or more) of the time I just get so sick of arguing about it I give up. I'm fairly certain I have told him that as well.

I'm hardcore noodling right now: During our pre-marital counseling session T mentioned that, during arguments, we may need to take a step back and ask each other on a scale of 1-10, how important is this to us? If it's a 3 for one and a 9 for the other, obviously we'd go with the 9. If it's a 4 and a 2 for us, why the heck are we even arguing in the first place???? Knock it off.

Anyway, back to the first noodle. All I know what to do right now is to keep ignoring him. I don't know what else to do. He messages me on gchat, and I don't know if I can block people on there, so I logged out of gmail. I have considered writing a letter, like a real live letter, not an email or anything and sending it to him. But I feel like if I did that it would just open up a new can of worms, and I really don't want to deal with that at all.

Another noodle: I'm going to ATL this afternoon through Friday afternoon. I won't be around much, because it's a work conference. Tonight: drinking with my coworkers. Tomorrow night: some absurd dinner event, and hopefully more drinking with my coworkers. Friday night: drinking with my cats. Oh yes yes. Saturday will hopefully be car inspection day, and, depending on how long they take, hopefully hair cut and shopping for the Waffles book & study guide. I really like this noodle thing. Because it's so true. I just go all over the place and ramble and noodle and it's just... well. I guess there's a reason my hair is so curly!
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14 comments
- #12
  
  snow_girl commented
  
  June 12, 2013, 09:55 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  At first I was like WTF is noodling? o.0 Then I was like Oooooooh right, she's a noodle! I get it!
  
  I say just ignore him. Like just go cold turkey cause if you dip your turkey in gravy too often it'll go soggy.
- #13
  
  ThePiedPiper commented
  
  June 12, 2013, 10:10 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  It took an old friend of mine two years before we were able to be friends. We were extremely close for two years, drifted for about one (not my doing), reconnected again, and it simply was not working. We reconnected two years later, and though I had thought history was repeating itself only recently, it turned out to be a massive misinterpretation on my part. I continue to remain somewhat skeptical, but we do the best we can with what we're given and we make a friendship work. My point, however, is more that it took us a good long two year break. I did write him a letter, but that was mostly because I knew he would respect it, and he did. He wrote me an acknowledgment back and didn't contact me again (save for once about a year later, but it took me two to be friends with him again). So sometimes a break can be good for people, and maybe, in the not so distanct 2014, you two can be friends again. Or maybe you won't care by that point. However, if you get the feeling that contacting him would open the can of worms, then don't. I have found gut instincts are generally pretty accurate with these things...
- #14
  
  lyonsgirl commented
  
  June 18, 2013, 09:24 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Who knows if any of you will see this comment, but since I'm trying to be more "waffle-y" I'm going to post this here. He messaged me this morning. AGAIN. sigh.
  "You were right, we will be going through pre-marital counseling." I laugh a lot at this because he put up such a big stink about how pre-marital counseling is unnecessary and stupid. I told him that I guessed they would probably have to since they're getting married in a traditional Lutheran church and having a full mass (or whatever Lutherans call it). Giggles.
  
  But I'm not responding. I had to tell someone, so I'm writing it here. Giggles.
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