Update: Explosion Part 2

lyonsgirl started a blog post Update: Explosion Part 2
July 6, 2013, 09:26 AM
Update: Explosion Part 2

I can tell you guys this because you don't know him. Since apparently it's on radio silence until her parents know. Which is supposedly going to be tonight... but I didn't fall asleep until 3am because of all of this.

Last night J & RR sat down with his family. She's pregnant.

1) I'm not surprised
2) I'm pissed

I thought there were more numbers on how I feel, but, no. Now that I've had a sleep, that's about it.

I'm not surprised because I'm betting they conceived at the end of June, which was probably when they decided "let's just get married". I'm not surprised because although I don't know her that well, based on everything I DO know, she's in the "gotta get pregnant to keep the guy around" and she knows perfectly well that with J, he'll marry her because there's a baby. Which they have decided to keep, and adoption isn't an option.

I'm pissed for a few reasons. Let's see:
1) Getting her pregnant, IMO, just sealed his "not going to music school" coffin.
2) He even admitted he didn't want to be a welder forever, but I have a feeling this pretty much cements that he will be.
3) Nix & I are doing all of this crap the "right" way - but now because of his younger brothers idiotic actions, won't be the first in his family to get married, and won't give his parents their first grand baby. (I'm fully aware that this one is petty and stupid, but it's how I'm still feeling)
4) I also know that even though I am livid with J & RR, when that baby is born, I won't be able to contain myself. I freaking love babies. How can I not? So I'm going to love the crap out of that kid, but still be pissed at his/her parents. Yes. I fully expect I'll do the "glaring evil eyes at the parents" and then turn to the baby and just coo and smile and giggle all over it. It will be sickening.
5) I'm afraid that any of this drama that's still going on will flow over into our wedding in October.
6) Nix & I have decided that because we don't really trust J any more, he'll still be "Best Man" but basically have absolutely no best man duties. We will carry our own rings, and, right now (this may change, it may not, I don't know) if he wants to give a speech/toast, it will have to be approved by us or his parents.
7) Their reasoning for wanting to get married (prior to baby) is STILL pissing me off. Apparently working/schooling for 50-60 hours a week means they "wouldn't ever see each other" and J even had the balls to say that he "doesn't do long distance well". WTF. Since when is 2 minutes long distance?! (I know, I know, I get mad at people who say x amount of time or miles isn't LD, but these two both have cars, both are healthy, so they can drive or walk the distance to each other's house in you know, 10-15 minutes.)
8) repeat #3 again.
9) I know it's our choice, and I do not regret our choice, but whatthehell. Is everyone on the planet having sex but us?
10) I was up until 3am over this shit because I couldn't fall asleep because all I freaking wanted was a hug because of reasons 1-9. (Honestly, mostly #3 and #8.) And then a whole different pils of emotions that I can't even put into words. Basically, there was some ugly crying and it just wasn't good.

I think that's it, really. At least, those are all of the reasons why I'm still pissed about this.

I need a drink and a hug and... dammit. I don't even know when I will see Nix again before the wedding.

We're due for some good news, right? This means that the university will call me this week.... right??? I can't keep doing this. I'm about to give up and say "screw it, Nix, I'm going to move to Maryland. If you want to live with me, this is where I'll be."
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12 - 14

14 comments
- #12
  
  lyonsgirl commented
  
  July 8, 2013, 09:11 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Well. J just texted me.
  J: So I heard that Nix told you about this whole debacle.
  Me: I have heard a few things.
  Yeah. It was a surprise. And I want to apologize to you right now for all this going on right around your wedding. I don't mean to take attention away from it.
  It's okay. I confess when I first hear I was a little annoyed. But, I'm over it now. Besides, we only get one day.
  Thank you. Yeah, but the fewer things to talk about on that day besides you two, the better.
  It's going to turn into a family reunion, so, it's not big deal. Besides. A baby is exciting stuff. Believe it or not, I am excited to meet my niece/nephew.
  Which one?
  ?
  The currently existing one, or the coming one.
  Well. Both.
  
  So, that just happened.
- #13
  
  Zephii commented
  
  July 8, 2013, 07:33 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  That ^ was nice of him
  
  I hear you, I really do. I've complained enough about my in laws too Sometimes you see something so stupid you can't look away. But to me, we have to hold ourselves accountable (or our mates will chip us haha) when we get all judgy and stuff. When I say "reach out to them" I don't mean "go tell them what they are doing wrong and offer advice". I mean be a friend. Get to know them and the "why" behind their seeming-idiocy. I mean let them know you are there for them, that you will offer genuine practical help, without looking down on them and poking at their mistakes. Do you see the difference?
  
  I'm not judging you for your religion, others might, but I hope you know that I'm not. Come on man, I believe in magic and faeries! I'm the last person to be shaking the "you're stupid and your religion is stoopid" stick What I'm saying (badly obviously) is that even within the frame points of our own beliefs we need to use logic and we need to be able to put ourselves in the shoes of the other. For me on a practical level that means I understand why people use disposable nappies even though to me the idea is abhorrent, and I understand that my father in law is going to laugh at me because I'll spend more for the same product if it doesn't come on a styrofoam tray. For you, that means being able to relate to why people have sex out of wedlock or (I'm not sure if this is a religious thing or just a smart-person thing but) understanding that some people's lives are not going to follow the same progression that we're taught to aspire towards (ie education -> love -> career -> marriage -> house -> babies) and that even if we think they are young and dumb, that's their path and it's as valid as our own. For both of us, and every other bastard too, that means there's less hate, anger and fear. It's hard to hold onto those three toxic emotions if you understand the other person.
  
  Or it works for me anyway *shrug* I think I went off on a tangent after I changed that nappy. Anyway, yeah, not attacking you. Embrace who you are! That's what it's all about right? Every time someone reads your views and experiences they learn something. They don't have to agree, but their understanding goes up and that makes the world a better place. At the same time though, it makes us all vulnerable. Being faithful/different. And people are going to call us on it, but we can just think about that, take the useful bits and discard the rest
  
  Shake hands? *offers hand*
- #14
  
  lyonsgirl commented
  
  July 8, 2013, 10:16 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  I didn't feel attacked by you, Zeph. Promise. *hand shake* I posted about this on another place where I thought it was "safe" and basically got torn a new one. "what does religion have to do with any of this?" I think may have been what did me in.
  
  Anyway. I think I just need to restrict my Internet self some times, it's healthy for me. Though I do have to tell you this. This is to everyone reading, lol.
  
  Bear with me, this is probably a little TMI. But I am going to be slutty Belle for Halloween night. And I am SO EXCITED. Best part? I asked Nix how he feels about "2nd Halloween costumes". "I approve." I love this man.
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