While mother and I were away this weekend visiting her mother and sister (which is pretty much the definition of hell but that's another story), we found out Dad is having an affair with a woman who lives in Germany and she's married with two teen daughters. Their affair apparently started in July, when she was here with her family. They're one of the regular guests in the house we rent to tourists. Dad was there most of the summer taking care of the business. That's when they hit it off.

We found out via email with undeniable evidence sent to us by the woman's husband. Mother said nothing, just forwarded the email to father, who was back home at the time, and told him not to do anything stupid. We had no contact with him after that. I broke into his mailbox (I knew his password as I set it up for him and he was too stupid to change it) and found more evidence there. I downloaded some of their correspondence just in case mother should need it at some point.

As we came home yesterday, he wasn't home. His stuff was there except for his laptop. Mother tried calling him, he wasn't picking up. She used my phone then and he answered. When she asked him where he was, he said he was in a hotel in Germany and that he would be back on Tuesday and then "we'll sort it all out". Supposedly he sent us an email telling us about it (but neither of us received it, so it was just another of his lies). Then he hung up.

Mother is doing surprisingly well. She's clearly shaken by everything going on, but she also seems relieved in a way. She says, it will be easier once this whole thing is resolved, we can all move on. She's moving out of their house into a friend's flat - she plans to finish the move before he comes home tomorrow. Chances are he'll probably bring that woman with him as apparently she's been kicked out by her husband. This all reads like a bad soap scenario.

I don't understand his thought process. Not about having the affair, that doesn't actually confuse me. But packing up and going to Germany to bring the other woman home without deeming it appropriate to say a word to us. How low can you go? What does he expect his relationship with me and my brother to be like in the future? Does he think we'll meet for BBQs on Sundays like nothing had happened? That's what I don't understand. Had he sat us down and told us he fell in love with someone else and wanted out, it still would've been a rather douchey thing to do but at least he would've tried to make it more civil, and we wouldn't have tried to stop him from whatever his plans were. But he took off in the middle of the night without a word like a thief, like we were nothing to him, let alone the family he's lived with for the past 30+ years. He sold us all for a whiff of pussy. That's where he really killed any chance of a future peaceful coexistence.

Mother is not so much angry at him as she is disappointed. She said she doesn't wish him harm and won't seek any revenge. She's just going to move on. But my personal mission is to make sure he doesn't get a cent from mother. He doesn't have much of his own income as mother's been the breadwinner in the family. The house is in his name but that's about it. The other woman didn't really do herself much of a favour by going after him, I mean if she has any hopes he'll support her or even just contribute much to the household, she'll be sorely disappointed.

Anyway, I don't have much time to process my own feelings about this as it's all happened so soon, and I'm too busy looking after mother. I don't even know how I should feel. He was a good dad to me up to this point, and I guess I still love him, even if I have zero respect for him. My feelings go from angry to disappointed to sad to indifferent and then back again. I don't even know if I should cancel my upcoming visit to my SO (I leave on Thu) - mother said I should go, but it makes me feel uncomfortable to leave her alone at this moment.