Everything's felt so out-of-whack this week. My friend Renae made it up here on Monday, and since then I've been basically living at her/Hellen's apartment, but still doing chores for my mom at home and running errands for her. Also, working and driving Renae around since she has no car and no license and needs job applications.
It's pretty well understood that I'm not really a 3rd roommate at this apartment; Renae even keeps mentioning how maybe after she gets a job and saves up money, she and Hellen can get a bigger apartment and I can move in too. Even though I'm working on getting stuff turned in so I can go on a mission for 18 months and will likely still want to move out of the town when I eventually move out of my parents' house for good. But they both still kinda just assume that I'm living here anyway, and storing my stuff at my parents' house. I dunno. I'm sleeping at home tonight, I swear.
That's another thing; Renae's pretty fun to talk to and all, and we're getting along well, but she seems kinda...I dunno...slow, sometimes. When it comes to communication. Maybe it's just that we're still getting used to each other. I mean, I'm definitely not one to talk about excellent communication skills, but it just seems like some things she just doesn't...get. Like the idea of me going on a mission. In theory I've explained what's going on well enough that she should kinda get the logistics, but then she goes and...forgets, maybe...that I'm even going in the first place. Or I was making some remark about something people do online that bothers me a bit, and she looked at me sort of blankly, so I explained, and she...I don't know if she just tuned out or really honestly misunderstood everything I said, because she completely missed what I was saying and went off on some minor detail of what I'd said and kinda made it out like I was being a little slow myself. (Some girl asked me to work for her tomorrow but I'm already scheduled, so I said sorry, and she said "Nooo, it's fineee" and I was saying how it doesn't even make sense to put a bunch of e's on the end if you're dragging out the word "fine." Because really you say it like "fiiiiiine." I told Renae this, and she's just like..."Well, I mean, she wanted you to work for her." I'm like ".... Okay.")
I dunno, it's just kinda...weird for me. XD I honestly dunno what to think of it. Misunderstandings stress me out sometimes because they can cause major issues.
I'm kinda bummed out because a while ago I asked Eebs if he'd ever like to meet up in the semi-near future if I could get all the technicalities to work out (car, money, time, etc), and the way he was talking, it didn't seem like an impossibility. Like, maybe finding time where he wasn't too busy would be hard, but he said his mom would probably be okay with me at least just meeting them, if no hanging out or anything, and his dad might be a bit unhappy but in general they would be fine.
Well I've been wanting to do a road trip-thing to visit/meet people before I go on my mission. Initially I wanted a whole bunch of stops but I think it'd work out better to just visit a few people I really really want to see. I've wanted to try and at least meet Eebs with this road trip, but apparently now it's not a good idea. I wanted to know why, because if it was something I could help resolve, I'm all for it. He made it sound like maybe he'd just be too busy, at first. But now it's come out that it IS about his parents, and...I mean, I understand why it's an issue, but I wish I could have heard about this ages ago. I wish he would have just told me up front "I'm not going to even ask my parents because I honestly think they aren't going to let us meet while I'm still in their care, end of story." Then I could have already made my peace with the idea of not meeting him for a couple more years and I wouldn't have been wasting my energy trying to see if I could make something work.
And apparently he was reprimanded by his older sister for being my friend. That...well, as an older sister myself I don't honestly blame her; you wanna protect your younger siblings from anything you perceive to be foolish or dangerous. It still kinda stung to hear it, though. I guess I don't know what exactly she said; maybe it was a general thing like "Eebs, you really shouldn't have been making friends with people online," and not "You really shouldn't have made friends with this person, she could be dangerous and you just don't know with people online." I'm doing my best to reserve judgment here. BUT STILL, it hurts a bit. Partly because now I've partly crossed the threshold between being unknown and being considered...a threat, for lack of a better word. And I feel like I can't do much right, when it comes to Eebs. At least he's not going to stop being my friend or anything. Great blessing right there.
I SUPPOSE, in a way, this is a good thing...because now I can just make my peace with the idea of waiting to even meet him. And then I don't have to worry about my mom freaking out on me for meeting him. Or extra gas money (not that he's the farthest stop, but far enough that it does make a difference) and time on my road trip. And then when I do meet him, there will be less for other people to worry about...because he'll be a legal adult by that point.
At least I do get to meet some other awesome people on my trip. It will be worth it just the way it is.
Regarding my mission, I've set up appointments for a dental exam and a full eye exam. Both are in August. I am probably not going to be able to go to the Mayo Clinic (probably too expensive) so I'm gonna have to just look for a thyroid specialist somewhere in the Midwest who will accept my insurance. I was thinking about just leaving my thyroid deal as is and just dealing with all the crap it gives me the way I have been, but it really would cause problems on my mission so I do need to get it figured out. Mayo Clinic would be ideal, though.... Could get evaluated by a bunch of specialists and then they'd give a full health profile and that would be great, because there's less chance of something being missed that way.
Bah, I dunno. I need to get it all figured out soon because otherwise I'm never gonna get my paperwork turned in and will never get my mission call. >.<
I got Emma to give me pretty much all of her knitting stuff. ♥ She doesn't really ever use it anymore, and of course if she needs any of it, I'm not gonna keep it from her. But I DO knit, and would love to make something of a career of it if possible, so I figured since she had a bunch of knitting stuff from when she still did it, that would be a lot better than me having to buy everything myself when I'm not exactly rich.
I'm so excited.