I feel like whenever I blog it's because of something negative. I need to start rolling out some positive blogs later.
We had a fight last night. And although we apologized and "made up" I just feel uneasy. I feel like making up with someone just doesn't have the same healing power when it's just over the phone. In the past, when we've fought and made up...I really feel closure on the issue since we can physically make-up too (and no I don't mean make-up sex). There is just something healing about being able to hug or hold each other after a fight. Saying I'm sorry and I love you on the phone just doesn't cut it for me.
Being in an LDR is making me insecure, not in my relationship but in myself. I need way more reassurance than I ever did when we were close distance. I mean, that makes sense because all we have is our words for right now. Yesterday I wanted to call him back again after we made-up. I wanted to hear it again, I didn't feel like I had closure. But then I was second guessing myself on calling him back because I'm afraid he'll get sick of me.
Sick of me and my emotional roller coaster.
Sick of me complaining about the distance when he is always being so strong and positive.
It's been a long time since I've felt this insecure about myself.
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I think it just takes more time to patch things up online. I don't mean the making up itself, just the time it feels before being back to normal. Maybe it's because after you have the argument and "storm out" or whatever the equivalent may be, you have so much time apart to think about it. Much more than you would in person.
Maybe you're overthinking things and that's leading you to feel insecure? It's so easily done in an LDR, in fact it's hard not to do it, especially after an argument. But things can feel much worse than they actually. If you were together in person would you be thinking the same things? Probably not I'd imagine.
And one last thing, just because he seems strong and positive doesn't always mean he is. I've put that "act" or whatever you want to call it on for Tanja many times in the past because she's needed it. Maybe he's doing the same for you. Guys can have these insecurities too, even though we do a good job of hiding it
I find that they tend to vanish and be forgotten about once we're together again, that could just be the case with you too.
You'll be fine, both of you
Forgive me if this doesn't make much sense, I've written it in a few different sittings at my computer and lost my trail of thought more than once
I was definitely overthinking things...that's my LDR specialty!
We had a great talk tonight and he told me the things that had been stressing him out. And I talked about realizing that I am overly sensitive to his moods and that I really need to accept when he is in a bad mood (just wrote a new blog post about this).
I'm glad you're feeling better about things