So we are on school break right now (I am an assistant teacher) and it's like a 12 week break just for "All Saints Day"...so much for the French school system being secular
Anywho, before break everyone was talking about their plans and all the teachers were asking me mine and I would reply, "Not much, just staying here and maybe doing a few little day trips". And they were always like "Oh that is so depressing. You're going to be soooo lonely. Okay have a nice break! Bye!" (The French are really talented at making me feel shitty about myself).
Well guess what, Frenchies? It's day 8 of break and I am NOT lonely and NOT depressed! In fact, I am way less lonely and depressed than I usually am when school is in session. I honestly really enjoy being alone. I know what I like to do/eat/watch. I like to explore my thoughts, I'm really introspective. I also am really accustomed to being alone, since I've moved so much in the past 6 years (and almost always in foreign lands which always magnifies loneliness).
Often when school is in session, I feel really lonely. i think this is because I am surrounded by people but don't feel any connections. I would rather be alone or with a few solid connections than a bunch of duds.
It's better to be alone than in bad company, goes the saying. And for me, it's true!
So I'm glad I made the decision to stay here over break, even though I got the pity eyes from all my colleagues. Plus, (I know this will make me sound snotty/jaded), but I am SICK of traveling. I
have done so much traveling, so much site seeing, so many days exploring, days trying to figure out transit systems in foreign languages, months trying to adapt to foreign cultures etc.
I am so ready to get back to Africa...settle in for about a year and then head back to the States with my fiance, God-willing. Ohh I just want to sit at home with babies!!
But that'll all have to wait!