First of all: we moved! To a beautiful, big apartment.

The best thing about it: kitchen! For the first time in 2 years, I won't be cooking on the floor of my living room.
The second best thing: balcony! I love having our own space outside and we're on the 2nd floor so when you are sitting down, all you can see are trees. It's lovely.

Things have been going very well with my SO for awhile now. We've been working really hard on our misunderstandings/communication differences. I've been learning to give him more time to process information instead of forcing him to talk about it right away. And he's been soooo much better about talking about his feelings. He also made a big change and quit going to this friend's house everyday. I never liked these friends and always thought they were a not-so-great influence. Well, he stopped going 2 months ago and it has made a huge change! Now, we are home together almost every night. All in all, we've had some great changes.

And....his daughter moved in full-time with us 3 months ago and that has been amazing. I have been in her life since she was 1 year 4 months old (she's almost 4 now) and she's always spent a lot of time with us but this is the first time that we have her ALL the time. It has been the most rewarding, tiring, annoying, beautiful, life-giving experience. I've taught her French so that we can better communicate and so that made things much easier for us. It has been a challenge but my SO has been really supportive and gives me full-parent respect, even though she isn't biologically mine.

Which leads me to my final update----> we are thinking about ditching the birth control soon Like soon soon. We've been talking about babies for quite some time and I've felt ready, but scared. Then last month we had a pregnancy "scare" and when I finally took the pregnancy test and it was negative, my initial reaction was incredible disappointment. So we started talking about it more seriously.
It may seem early to some people, but we are living the life between 2 cultures and in his culture, we are super later and in mine we are a bit early.

This actually seems like the best time to do it. We have been planning on moving to the States in 2-4 years. At first, I was scared at the thought of having a baby here. But now I'm thinking that it would be better to have it here and then move to the States when the baby is school-aged. And the longer I've lived here, the less scared I am.

My job here in Mali is way more forgiving than any job I could imagine having in the States. Maternity leave in the US is a nightmare and I know that as a teacher working for a French school in Mali, I would get more time off and hold on to my job more easily. Plus, my schedule here is the best! I work from 7:40 am to 12:50 pm and that is IT! I have all afternoon and evening at home. What better schedule could you ask for during pregnancy or during newborn baby time? I couldn't get a schedule like that in the US.

Also, the cost of living in Mali is so so so low compared to the US. We live easily on my salary here and even if I were to lose my job for some reason, I have enough savings to live for at least 6 months to a year here, no problem. Just to give you an idea-- if we wanted a full-time, live-in maid to cook, clean, go to the market, and take care of the baby while I worked, we could get one for as little as $18 a month!! We would probably pay a bit more than double that because I just can't pay someone so little for full-time work, even if it's the standard. So costs would be lower in Mali. Also with medical care. I don't have great insurance in the US. My insurance just covers major accidents or medical emergencies but nothing else. I am scared to think of how much I would spend on pre-natal doctor visits, hospital time, newborn check ups, etc.

We may not be super financially prepared. My SO makes very little money and we don't own a house or a car or anything but I do have savings. But we are feeling ready. Excited, scared, nervous, but ready. If we wait until we are really, really ready, I'm afraid that will take longer than we want. It would be another 2-4 years to move to the US, we would have to find jobs, save up, etc, etc. I think this may be the best time.

Sorry this was so long but it feels good to sort my thoughts and get them on paper (screen?). Take this chocolate cake as your reward for reading all of it!