Sooo these 2 girls moved in across the hall from us and I was all excited. They are about my age and one has a baby (aww baby!) so I was thinking they could be potential-friends. I stopped in their apartment the other day and they seemed nice enough.
Then, one of them came over today and hung out for a bit and it was weird. She was one of those super talkative people. She would ask me a question, "Where are you from?" and then I would start responding and she would interrupt me with some semi-related but all-about-her topic. And this was for every.single.question that she asked me. Then she used the word "savages" to describe Africans in kind of a joke-y way. But wow, I was really uncomfortable but just kind of laughed it off. And then she told some weird stories that made me think I probably don't want to be friends with her. (She told me some story about slapping this lady at the park...uh what?)
She just left and it left me feeling all icky and weird. I feel like I made all these possible future plans with her because she would be like, "Stop by anytime", "Your daughter can come play tomorrow", "We can go on walks sometime", "You can give me English lessons", etc, etc. And I would just nod along "Yeah sounds great". I hate these situations because I just don't know how to stop them without being awkward.
So now what do I do? Avoid her completely? Be semi-friendly and spend a bit of time with her but not get to close?
Ugh.
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Come up with an entire list of reasons/excuses to beg off any invites, and visualize using them...then kick her out of your head space.
In my opinion.. if she is willing to say something so offensive in a first meeting, imagine what will come out when she lets her guard down and you become friends. That was her nervous and on her 'make a good impression' behavior?
I always reduce it down to one simple question for myself.. 'is this a person I want my daughter to be around and be influenced by?'
That always makes things very clear. Though at times you can't prevent it, and at those times.. its an excellent teaching opportunity with my daughter.
I would probably give her a second chance and if she's still the same then just lie to her that you're busy and can't hang out. She's a stranger to you, you're not obligated to tell her the truth or spend time with her. Who knows, if she's lucky she might learn from you how to be more open minded