Wish I could say it was a positive update.

Well, I typed up this whole long update blog and just deleted. Deleted it because I can barely stand to read the words I've typed. Deleted it because the details of the situation are too upsetting.

What it boils down to is this:

-My husband is in a really bad place right now.
-My husband has become an alcoholic.
-My husband has anger issues.
-My husband's promises are empty.
-My husband scares me and Rokia.

and

-I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy to bring him to the US. What if the same shit continues there? What if he gets arrested/goes to jail/gets in trouble owing people money/etc?

But I really feel that I have no choice. My only other option is to live out my life in Mali or another African country. I don't want to. I've looked into adoption and it seems near impossible. A real proper adoption is impossible- the child has to have deceased or unknown bio-parents. The only option is "adoption protection" which seems incredibly difficult to obtain and it can also be revoked at any time by the bio-parents, so I'm guessing it would mean having to get the bio-mom to agree, which I don't think would ever happen. But even if I did all of that, it's such a complicated process that I'd probably be stuck here for another year. And I don't want to take my girls away from their dad. I truly want to give him the opportunity to get back to the way he was.

And so it goes: every few days things go to shit, I contemplate my options, realize that there are no good ones, and continue down the path that I'm already on.

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9 comments

#7

Dezface commented

September 8, 2014, 11:42 PM

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I think of you often and I truly hope things will get better for you one day
#8

Zephii commented

September 9, 2014, 01:25 AM

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Maybe there's something wrong with me, but... if he moves to the US with you, and lands in jail or whatever at least Rokia will have also made it to the US and she will be with you. She will be safe, and with a world of opportunities at her feet. That makes it worth it. You can only give him the opportunity to help himself, beyond that it's up to him. For her though, the shape of her whole future rides on what you can do for her.

I know you don't want the girls separate from their dad, I 100% understand that. But at the point in time where they are in danger from him that no longer matters. Better a broken home than an abusive one. They can always get back in contact with him at an age where they are no longer as vulnerable.

Where are you on your visa quest? Any news?

Sending lots and lots of love.
#9

Moon commented

September 9, 2014, 10:26 AM

Editing a comment
I want to say something kind, or at least helpful, or something, but I just don't have the words

The only thing I can think of is to get everyone to the US and let the chips fall where they may. At least you're in a better position here.

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Wish I could say it was a positive update.

Wish I could say it was a positive update.