I can honestly say that I have had an entire month anxiety free. That all changed yesterday. So essentially I'm going through a lot of changes in my life that have come from some hard decisions and some previously dumb choices. I have to deal with these decisions every day. They are not fun.

So yesterday I got a raise at work. Exciting right? I guess so. I had essentially told my employer that for me to afford to live financially independent I needed to make more money. So they made that happen. So at 23 years old I now have a job that I really enjoy (most of the time) making a kick ass amount of money.

So what's the problem? The job market in Pittsburgh for me = yucky salaries. I am a very success and money driven person. My SO? Not so much. So he had pretty much asked me if we should switch gears and if he should start looking at apartments down here.

As of right now he could head this way in June although it could possibly be sooner if things worked out. Which I mean, to be honest would be great. I love NC. I moved here for a reason. The weather is great, the economy is strong... And then he shared with me his fears (however tiny they may be babe) that I'm going to go back on some of those recent decisions, and him having (tiny, almost non-existent, don't bother you) doubts about this being real.

You know what? I can't blame him. We met in person four weeks ago yesterday. So... I am really tempted to just put the relocation discussion on hold regardless of the fact that I really want to be able to see him every week. Give it a little bit more time.

I'm just really stressed about it, but so thankful that he was honest with me about his feelings. *grunts*

I know that this was all over the place.