It was great logging in here after such a long time and to see that so many of you have got married or are expecting a baby.. or just still happy together! Although I haven't been very active recently, coming here always brings back so many memories from our journey - this place has been there through the good times and the bad times.

We are still doing well. Chris left last night after spending nine days in Finland. He was trying to pull his saddest face (he does lost puppy perfectly) but I know that secretly he was kinda happy to leave the dark and miserable Finland behind for sunny HK. We've had a chance to spend quite a lot of time together this year, as I just came back from Hong Kong last month after spending two months there and one in Beijing. I was excited to see him so soon afterwards, although his trip started off on a sad note. We went to see my family after he arrived, only to hear that my grandma only had a few hours to live so we jumped in a car and went to see her. I felt very grateful to be there in her last moments and tell her how much I loved her, but at the same time it was extremely hard as she hadn't shown any signs of illness before that week. Chris was there to support me as much as he was able to in his jetlag haze.

This year has certainly been.. quite something. I've had some really amazing times and some really bad moments. So many of you supported me through my brother's illness, which I'll never forget. My brother is doing a lot better now, he is managing his hallucinations quite well and sometimes even laughs at the stupid stuff I do to to bring a smile to his face and calls ME crazy. My younger brother was caught using drugs but has been clear for months now and has turned his life around - he exercises like crazy and particularly enjoys making me roll my eyes by showing off his muscles. I lost my grandpa some time ago and now my grandma a few months later, while my mum was also diagnosed with cancer but had a surgery and is recovering very well. All the stress had quite a toll on me and I started having daily arrhythmias and was recently diagnosed with a heart disease.

But the craziest thing is, the harder the things get, the calmer I feel. Smaller things don't matter any more, it is so much easier to see what really matters. I often find myself thinking: so THIS is how it feels to be happy. It usually happens during the most boring moments imaginable, when I'm grocery shopping with Chris, sitting in a class or washing the dishes (well not really, I still hate that). It's such a wonderful feeling to be alive.

Here is a picture of us from this summer:


roosajachrisi by Rovei