I guess today I'm doing much better. I spoke to Wes last night. I told him I want us to be friends, but I really don't wanna discuss our relationship aside from the side jokes and memories. Thinking about how we failed (or how I feel I failed) makes me very sad. I told him for the very last time I loved him and missed him and if we don't find our way back to each other I hope he finds happiness.

Then I was just curious, I asked if he still loved me. To my surprise/shock he said he wasn't sure. I won't lie that kind of stopped my heart cold. Considering it hasn't even been a week yet. But ya know what, that seemed to bring me the biggest amount of closure. I feel like I can move on.

I still love him, part of me will probably always love him. Considering we are still friends and we are still talking its a good thing. Maybe we can find why we fell in love with each other to begin with. I have hope, but i'm not gonna wait around for him to realize it. If it doesn't happen, I meant what I said I hope he finds happiness even if its not with me. I'm also looking forward to a more friendly visit in July, as long as I'm ready. Which at the rate I'm going I can see as a possibility.

Its a new day with a new outlook. ^^