I hurt my back on Wednesday, before Matt left. It was healing, but on Friday I wrenched it again by accident when I woke up at about 10 PM. An agonizing night later, I managed to roll myself into the car and drive over to urgent care in the town over.

Here was the doctor's 'good news': "Well, there isn't a break."

Whatever was in my x-ray wasn't good, but apparently not permanent because he didn't say anything. So I'm on heavy drugs now - hydrocodone and soma. Maybe those aren't strong to some people, but as someone who doesn't take much medication, I can tell it's making me loopy/nauseous.

I don't know if it's the meds or my sadness, but I'm not eating well. I keep getting these waves of nausea, although they're worth it given my back hurts so much less. I barely have the desire to eat - although the desire to cook is still here. Once I eat, I recognize the food is delicious, but it's like I'm eating through a veil. Plus then I get nauseous right after, not great eating incentive.

Well, I did plan on getting back to losing weight, eh heh.

Matt left me an email this morning. His PC is completely dead, so I don't even get to ease into not having him around. No talking, no seeing him, I'll be lucky if he can send me a daily email because he has little access to computers.

I put on my skin oil and lotion after I got out of the shower, then started crying. Matt loved doing that for me. How stupid; I thought I was over the random crying jags.

I'm going back to watching Disney movies and pretending like I care about something.

(Eventually I'll pull my head out of my ass, but I really just can't seem to get any headway right now).