Edit: This turned into a lot longer than I realized, but I wanted to 1) vent and 2) blog about my closing the distance journey in hopes it helps people other than myself.

Two weeks ago, I went through the family ranks and told them I'm leaving in April. Called mom, grandma, and dad (parents are divorced). I've told the important friends, put out a FB announcement, and family took it decently well, so I'm doing pretty good.

Or so I thought.

I suspect my mother is in deep denial. She's said/been saying things that at first were a little guilt-trippy, but I handled it and moved on. Now I'm starting to get annoyed. What started as "I'm happy for you but sad for us" has progressed into "I'm just sad that I'm never going to see my grandchildren", she ignores all of my plans to visit and talk about how we can have regular Skype chats, and deflects any plans I try to talk with her about.

Here's the thing - I realize that it's normal to be a little sad, because I'm moving overseas, potentially permanently. But she's acting like I'm leaving her forever. I live a state away, and so I see my mom about 2-3 times a year. Me planning on seeing her once a year (two if it's in the cards), or at most once every 2-3 years if things got really bad (and I mean, really bad) isn't that far off to what she already gets. I'd think she'd be happy I'm going to video chat with her weekly, since we only talk about once every two weeks.

To top it off, two nights ago there was this gem:

I called her, because I've been trying to figure out where I'm going to leave from. I've considered leaving from here, Kansas City (not a good option), and from Baltimore, where my dad lives. I told her two weeks ago I was quitting work at the beginning of April so I could spend a few weeks with them, plus visit grandma and visit dad, and that I would then be leaving the states at the very end of April. I'm asking her about these questions, and she goes "Wait, when are you leaving?"
Me: "April...remember...?"
Mom: *quietly chokes up* "I thought you were gonna be here until June."

Really? Really?! YOU wanted me here until June. I told her from the get-go we were planning/hoping for May to begin with.

My stepdad isn't taking it too well either. When I tried to call him to ask him a few questions, he was really quiet (we're close, and he's my second father to me). My dad was neutral on the phone, and my grandma couldn't say anything except "that's an awfully far ways away," and wasn't receptive to me mentioning that I was still going to visit.

It makes me wonder why I'm bothering to take my time, and spend a good chunk of money visiting them before I go if all they can do is act like this. I don't expect people to wave flags and be super excited about me leaving, but you'd think they'd at least be happy for me that I'm happy, and show a little bit of positive attitude. This isn't the first time I've left the country for an extended period of time, and I kept in touch quite well.

I suppose I should be used to this by now, since this is how everyone acts when I make a decision that makes me happy. The only time my family has been enthusiastic about a big decision I made was when my ex-husband and I got engaged. Other than that, there's always been this thinly veiled "why are you doing this?" lurking in their replies.

I don't want to visit my family before I leave.

I wish I had the balls to do it.