I had my first breakdown since moving to the UK three months ago. He came home from work and I was making dinner. We had only got back from Sweden the day before so we didn't have a lot of food in the house so I used what we had. He pretty much said 'Not to be rude but I'm really sick of always having that for dinner" It's funny how it can hardly take a breeze to knock a tree over sometimes. I finished cooking then just went in to the bedroom and cried.
Everything has just been building up and up and it just finally crashed. I think while I was sitting at home during the day like I do every mon-fri it seems it dawned on me that it was already September and it feels like I watched the summer go by though a window. I know its partially my fault for that, I could go out more but it seems pointless in this small town with nowhere to go unless I'm getting groceries or meeting him for lunch. It's hard still not knowing anyone. I am at the point where I'm ready to ask random people on the street to be friends. I met one of my SOs friends Gf who is really nice but she is in London and works so it is hard to meet up with her.
I've been looking for jobs I have found a few I could do, but I would rather find one I want to do. All the jobs seem to be managerial or experience a requirement. Seriously? Do you really need 3 years experience to work at a juice bar?! It's frustrating.

Anyway he came in not long after and asked why I was crying. I told him I felt like I couldn't please him. I try to make the house clean and have dinner waiting and there is always something not right about it. He said he didn't realize that it bothered me that much and it wasn't me it was him, I told him it affected me though. He apologized for not being as appreciated as he should be and we made up.

I hate feeling this way though, I feel so useless. I need to find a job, or a hobby or something to keep me busy.