My SO is having a really hard time with me working. He doesn't like that I work one weekend day and am not home about 3 nights a week. He doesn't keep it to himself either, I'll mention something and he'll make a little jab that the reason why we can't go out or whatever is cause I'm working.
He's made me feel really guilty for working. I haven't worked for 10 freaking months and I finally get a job and I feel bad about it. I really enjoy what I do (Not a fan of the people there) He mentioned before that he'd like me to find a job with similar hours as him but had no luck, so when this came along I would have been stupid not to take it.
We were talking on Saturday and he said he didn't want to have a one day a week relationship and its not worth it to only see me at 11pm for an hour when he is tired. This pissed me off and I told him that the jobs that interest me are not 9-5.
When he said it wasn't worth it to be in a relationship like that, I feel like I have to choose between him or a job. I have no problem looking for something with slightly different hours but if we are not going to move then this is a good job. Its 10 min away and I can make a lot of money.
I talked to him yesterday and told him it wasn't fair that he can't support me in my job and that it is 4 more weeks till I am on holidays with my parents. I can't quit now, but when I get back I can start looking around for something. I told him even if I stayed at this job for 3/4 months it would be such an inconvenient thing in the long run.
I just don't know what to do, I know he is having a really hard time with it but at the same time it's a job in a not so good job market. I keep thinking about if we are together for years to come that if I was to go down one of the career paths I've thought about if he'd support my night shifts?
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snow_girl started a blog post He isn't supportiveHe isn't supportive
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You've only been at this job for a month or so, right? It might take him more time to get used to your schedule. I know the job is important to you, and I think you've been trying to reach out to him in little ways to make the transition a little easier. Keep doing that. Keep telling him you're working because you want your lives to be better. Tell him it's not easy for you either, but this is how it is for now and to please support you.
Also, I think maybe you should stop looking into the future so much. I feel like lots of your posts are like "it makes me think about in the future if this and this happens how he would react" or whatever. Try not to dwell on the hypothetical. I know it's important to think about the future and if you would mesh, but you might be putting extra strain on the relationship. Truthfully, right now you don't really know what you want to do, right? Well then don't worry about "what if" you get a job where you work nights. Just try to figure out your situation now. Try to make the best of your life and your relationship right now.
Best luck.
I will be looking around when I get back, but he can't seem to get past the next month. He gets down so easily about it.
Lucybelle, I only think about the future cause if you can't change a person this is going to affect me in the future. We'll also be at the stage of extending my visa soon and the future is on my mind...but i'll save that for another post.
It can be a pain in the butt not seeing each other much BUT you've closed the distance and you went through a lot worse to get there. You will get through this too, it just might take some time! Keep talking to him, I'm sure he understands it all eventually.