So I had the talk with my SO and it went well, but so far there has been no changes. Granted his sister has been staying with us the last 5 nights so that probably didn't help.
He is working on a big project at work and it has him super stressed. He was up for ages laying in bed last night because he couldn't stop thinking about work. This has happened before and that means until he can learn how to switch it off when he gets home I won't be having any sex and he is going to be acting like a mopey baby.
I get that he has a difficult job, but he lets it affect his personal life. I get that he has to commute up to an hour and a half each way and he is tired and he has been working long hours. I just don't like the fact that due to this I feel neglected. I don't know what to do or say to him. I told him he needs to try and turn work off when he gets home but all he says is he can't.
While our talk went well, I still have it in the back of my mind that the next 4 months before I go home are a bit of a last chance trial to see if things can get better in all aspects of our relationship before I pay for a visa. Hypothetically, would it be unfair of me to break up with him over being stressed at work because I feel forgotten about? I know it isn't something that he wants to do but the type of job he is in means this thing can happen often. I know I could talk to him about it, but if someone is stressed and down you can't just flip a switch and make it better.
I also can almost guarantee that he isn't going to do a single thing for Vday for me. I told him a week or so ago that it would be nice not to be the one to plan everything. He knows the day I have off, it's only the second Vday we've spent together and the 1st I wasn't sure we were even together. I don't want him to spend loads of money on me, just acknowledge it. I felt silly picking out a vday card yesterday because I know I wouldn't be getting anything back and that the cookies I will bake for him tomorrow will be appreciated but not reciprocated. I know that sounds selfish, but just once I would really like to be surprised with something special instead of me surprising him with dinner or being disappointed on our anniversary because he was too busy with work to think about us. At least I'm prepared for it this time.
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The thing is, this affects you and your life, a lot. How he deals with stress in his life is a deciding factor on if he is a keeper, because life is stressful. Both of you are likely to deal with loads of stress in your lives. Work stress. Financial stress. Too-busy stress. Baby screaming at 5am stress. In-laws stress. Just loads of freaking stress. If every time he is stressed he forgets your needs that could add up to years of feeling neglected, unwanted and unloved. So I don't think it is unreasonable at all.
Yay for roses
Haha sorry for that tangent, most of all I wanted to say is I'm so HAPPY he got flowers for you!!!!