Thats all I remember. lol
I have horrible allergies at the moment. I hate not being able to breath through my nose. I think I'd rather have ovary removing pain rather then this. I can deal with that, I can't with this. I need to stop at the pharmacy before work today.
I have three more shifts at work. I mentioned to someone about having drinks or something before I leave, but apparently two girls are having Birthdays so they already planned to go out on Wednesday. I also over heard some talking about buying gifts for their bdays. I don't get the gift giving. I think I mentioned it in a previous blog. I'm just kind of ready to move on from there. Although I will miss the tips and working, not sure when I'll work next.
I went thought all my stuff the other day, got rid of things I didn't need. Took some clothes to charity (ok, it was only 3 shirts but its a start!) Sent a couple shoe boxes home of books, didn't cost too much but will really help on keeping the weight down on my suitcase.
I'm going to the Harry Potter studios on Saturday, it should be fun. I am going with Kteire and her sis and another friend while all the bfs stay home and drink and watch football. I booked the tickets asking if they wanted to come and they didn't seem to interested but once I booked tickets my SO and his friend seemed sad they wouldn't get to go. Silly boys.
Our trip to Berlin and Krakow is next week. I' am looking forward to it, I've wanted to go to Poland for such a long time! I am just hoping the weather is nicer then England.
That was the fun stuff, now you get to hear me moan...
I'm stressed. I have 4 cold sores to prove it
I can't stop thinking about me and my SO. I don't know what to do. I mentioned it to my friend over the weekend and I can tell she doesn't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to hear it anymore but I'm having a hell of a time figuring it out. I think about it constantly. It is driving me insane. I've gone though every possible thing in my head. On paper I feel like I know what the right thing is to do.....I've written things out- I"m not happy with life, unsure if because of him or what I am doing with it
- Stuggling to talk to him, he isn't open and last conve left me feeling helpless
- He hasn't asked me at all about how the visa is coming
- When I tell him we need to start looking at things to do /places to stay in Canada he says hes too tired or not right now
- I'm not being challenged
- I don't get ILY's and Kisses before bed like I've asked him so many times
- Losing hope that anything I've showen concern about will actually change.
- How can we make each other happy when we are stuggling with our own issues?
- Feel like we are just existing, not living.
Reading that list it's clear what needs to happen really...but then I see him and it makes me doubt everything. We get along really well, I know he loves me...but it isn't the relationship I want. I don't know if I talk to him and tell him we need to take the next month when I leave to really think about what we want or to just end it. I still have a little over a week to figure it out but 'its just so hard. I know as an outsider I'm sure it's clear...fuck I've turned into one of those really dumb people that post all the time about how their SO's beat them or whatever, but I still love them so I'll let him do it kinda posters.
On a happier note I just spent a shit ton of money on dresses online. Not expecting to actually pay as much as I did cause once I try them on, I probably won't want any but I figured the more I bought the better chances I'd want one lol.
You need to take whatever time you need to come to your decision, it's a hard one to make. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, because I don't mean to, but when you go to Canada, maybe you should make sure to bring your favorite things with you, just in case.
Be kind to yourself