I wish you could just think a blog into existence instead of having to type it out. I am so much better at thinking things then saying them...and typing is a pain in the dupa.

We got back to shitty weather England yesterday. Overall it was a really good trip. We started our trip in Berlin. The hostel was super close to central and our room was shared with another couple. It wasn't ready when we got there so we had to put our things into baggage store. It was really hot so I changed and asked my SO to hold on to some things in his backpack and we got in a fight right off the bat cause he didn't want to carry anything. I told him it didn't make any sense why he told me to bring things that he'd put in his backpack on the plane but not when we got there. Ugh. Anyway little spat didn't last long and we went for a walk around the city. I won't get into all the details cause I could write forever, and I just said I hate typing long blogs.

The next day we went to the zoo, which was awesome! They had all sorts of animals and a baby elephant/giraffe/chimp I could have stayed and watched them all day. In the evening we had tickets to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I still had my camera from walking around all day and when they asked to look in my bag they told me they'd have to take my camera. I was so pissed. He assured me it wouldn't go missing but I still wasn't happy. It pissed me off too because everyone Harry, Dick and Joe in the place had either a small point and shoot or their camera phone. What is the difference between my SLR? So many people have one now and don't use it for commercial use. Anyway the show opened with Bosnian Rainbows Who were fucking weird. I couldn't stop watching though, the singer looked like she was possessed by the devil with the moves she was doing. We had an awesome view. It was second balcony right in the front. I think that was the first time I could actually enjoy a concert without worrying about the tall person in front of me or being pushed. The YYYs were really good as well. I had no prob getting my camera at the end thankfully.

We decided to take a bus from Berlin to Krakow. I knew I probably wouldn't sleep but it was cheap and easier then transferring trains and we also saved on accommodation for the night. My SO was set on hating it before we even got on the bus. The bus was already half full when we boarded so the driver was assigning seats. He got me and my SO quite close, both on the aisle just a row apart. He got all pissy about how it was so stupid acting like a child. The girl who was supposed to sit beside me had already moved and was sitting next to her friend so my SO came and sat by me. Although I would have been happier where he was. He complained the whole time and had the biggest pout face ever. At about 6 am we all had to change buses for some reason. I asked the girls in front what was going on as I didn't speak Polish. I started talking a bit to them off the bus because my SO had his hood up and looked like he was going to kill someone. I was so embarrassed. When we finally got to Krakow he still had his face on and was being no help trying to figure out our orientation. I told him to grow the fuck up and no one else on the not so comfortable bus acted like they'd just gone through something so horrible.

We got to the hostel and the room wasn't ready, but we were able to shower which was good because I think my SO might have completely lost it if he couldn't. After showering we walked around the old town. He finally calmed down and we had a nice afternoon. I was a little disappointed I didn't get to use my polish as much as I was told I'd have to. Everyone spoke english, at least in the touristy parts we were. We went for a nice fancy dinner and it was so cheap! All our meals were so cheap! We went to one place where the plates of food were as big as a dinner for a family of 4, I took a photo so I'll have to show y'all when I upload them.

The next day we took a tour to Auschwitz. We were going to go on our own but you needed to be in a tour to see the first camp and travel was all sorted so it was easier that way. We got to the first camp and it was so busy. I guess it is already high season. I'd like to go when it was quiet and I have more time to see all the info. We were paraded around fairly quickly in and out of the different blocks. I think the one that hit me most was the gallery of everyones possessions. There were 100s of peoples suitcases and personal effects. Then we went into one that had hair. They took everything they could use from the people the killed including their hair for making cloth. I can't even explain it, it was overwhelming to imagine how much hair is on your head and then to compare it to the amount there was shocking. If you want to see google 'Auschwitz hair"

The other two things that really stuck out there were these 4 cells they had that held 4 people each. Only enough room to stand and no windows. Whoever had to stay in those would be there overnight and then forced to work during the day. I was hot and it was muggy and I could have sat down during the trip and to imagine what the went through made me feel like a massive baby.
We also walked though one of the gas chambers. I had seen the gas chamber in Dachau but that one had never been used. This one was grim. To be able to understand things better about history I always try to imagine what it was like. As I entered all I could hear was screaming and people trying to fight to live a little bit longer and I nearly started crying. And as I am fighting back tears this stupid fuck face of a girl is having her photo taken at the entrance of the chamber. I was so close to staying how inappropriate that was. When I was with my family this past summer in the crypts in Paris my Mom wanted a photo with the skulls and after I took a blurry one I refused to take another saying it didn't feel right. I can't imagine taking one smiling where people were brutally murdered.

After a short break we went to see Auschwitz-Birkenau the camp where they did the massive exterminations and the one most people are familiar with. I've seen photos of the place, and I knew what to expect but it was a whole different feeling when you got there. seeing the train tracks that were really used and walking the same path as so many did before to their deaths was surreal. It was a huge place. Because we were on tour time, we only saw a fraction of it. We went into one barrack and it was awful. It was cold and the bunk beds were still original. It made it easier to imagine and see how terrible it must have been.

The next day we did a tour of the Jewish quarter in Krakow and to the Ghettos where all the Jews had been kept when the SS invaded. The whole trip was one big History class really.

In the evening we went for dinner and my SO wanted to go out for drinks. I wasn't really in the mood, I was tired and still struggling inside with what I am going to do about us and it felt like lying to go out and pretend I was having a good time when I am so unsure about things and I'd been bloated and felt shit about myself.

The next day we went on a tour of The Wieliczka Salt Mine, the oldest salt mine in the world over 700 years old. Our tour only lasted 2 hour and they said we saw about 1% of the whole mine. it was massive and incredible. One of the chambers were huge and they said it took about 100 years to carve and chisel it all out. It was really interesting. That evening we went for drinks. I was feel a little more up to it. We went to a vodka bar and between us had two beers and 7 vodkas of different flavors. They were all really good! When we decided to pay we were hoping it wouldn't be too much....the bill? £10!!!! Mental! We said it would be sweet to live there on our current salaries. I guess that probably wouldn't happen though considering the amount of Poles I work with in Uk because they can't make enough over there. Just have to visit again I guess.

So yea the trip was good overall. I took over 1000 photos so I need to sort through them but will probably have to wait till I am home in 12 days because I don't have enough space on my laptop. that also means it's down to the home stretch and I really need to have a talk soon. I feel like I know what I am going to do. The one thing that really got me was when we'd come back to the hotel instantly he'd be on his tablet. It happens here too. A nice day out then we both go our own ways at home. Anyway. that was probably my longest blog ever and my fingers are about to fall off.