As per personal request by Lucybelle, I will blog.

I've been home for about 5 days now, and it is really good to be home. I suppose the easiest way to go about blogging is to start at the beginning.

My SO was quite upset for me to leave. We came home on Friday night after dinner with some friends before I left and laid on our bed snuggling. He started to tear up a little bit and said he was going to miss me. Then the next morning I had a little bit of time before the taxi came so we were kind of cuddling and he started tearing up again and then said along the lines of "I want you to be happy, I want to be the one to make you happy and I don't like getting letters from you saying you aren't" so that was nice it seems that the letter I gave him the weekend before must have had some effect on him. We had had a small chat about it after I gave it to him and I said that there is no passion and I wasn't happy and I was confused about what I was doing with me life and pretty much everything else. I told him in person that unless he starts doing things to change and make himself happy nothing is going to change and I can't just sit by forever.

Anyway taxi came, glad I decided to spend the money on one cause I could hardly carry everything from the car to the check in desk. Flight way good. Sat beside some weird gypsies ladies but they were quiet enough. Watched some movies. My parents picked me up in Calgary and we had home to Edmonton. When I got home my sister had made a big welcome home sign and had an ice cream cake waiting! I had to ask what she had done because she is usually never this nice.

That evening I got a second wind and before I emptied my suitcase I decided to go through the clothes in my closet first and got rid of about 4 bags (the cleaning binge is still going on, probably cause I have nothing else to do) so now my room is nice and organized which is good cause I'dd probably be in it for a while.

It's also nice that it is bring until 10:30, because in London it was dark by 9:30.

The next day was my friends bridal shower. It was such a nice day out and was in her grandmas garden, it was a tea party. I think she liked my gift best (not to brag) but everyone was like "ooooohhhhhh" and probably cause I brought it from england. Some teas, a tea cup and a fancy strap for her camera. She said it was the best tea she had ever had. I burnt my arms so bad being outside. I have a horrendous farmers tan now.

Next day I saw my Grandparents, It was good to see them. I might go over next week and paint their porch. Yesterday I saw my friend and my niece who is 3 now. It took her 5 min to remember me but once she did she wouldn't let me go. We went to the mall and she wanted me to hold her the entire time. If I tried to set her down she'd so this weird monkey move to not touch the group....so my arms are sore today. I told my friend I'd take Eva to the zoo next week so she could have some time to herself. She has separation issues and doesn't really trust baby daddy to pay attention to her to be safe so I said if I take her maybe she won't worry too much.

I met with one of the other bridesmaids to plan my friends bachelorette party. I didn't realize she was only 22, cause she's been married 2 years! I can't even imagine! I think we decided to go out for dinner then to a pub my friend really likes.

Tonight I am going for cheap wings!! Woo wing wednesday with my friend who has asked my to go to Australia with her. I guess I'll get the details tonight about it.

As for my SO, I'm hoping I'll get some clarity being at home. I already feel happier here. The weather, being more social helps a lot. I'm not really sure I want to go back to the UK. I mean I really like it there and everything but in terms of what I want, there isn't anything really there for me aside from my SO. I might see what his thoughts are about moving here. I know he is happy with his job though but he said something the other day about saving there and then being set when he came here...but the thing is we aren't hardly saving anything living in London. I still don't know what I want. I don't know if it is because I've just been so busy since I've been home but I haven't thought that much about him. When I was at the bridal shower, listening to eveyone about how they talked about their SO being so amazing and stuff made me wonder if it's normal not to talk like that. I don't look at my SO and think he is the most amazing man I've ever met. Maybe I already have my answer, maybe I just need some more time apart to solidify it. I don't know, this is rambling and you probably still aren't even reading so I could just tell you that my butt is itchy and you would never know! But it isn't really, my eye is though. I'm allergic to cats and my sisters was upstairs for a while.

Anyway I'll leave you with that for now. Oh ya I just looked at my title and forgot one part. Last night my sister asked me if I wanted to smoke pot with her, so I was like ok what the hell. We went out to the garage and I asked her how often she did it and it turns out shes pretty much a pothead. I had no idea. Turns out my mom also enjoys the occasional puff when my Dad isn't around haha. I don't think i'll make a habit of it though, I was useless the rest of the night.