I'm not usually insecure, I don't know where it's coming from. Maybe it's just that I've never had to deal with anything that would make me feel insecure. I don't even know if that is the right word. I should just be enjoying having a new boyfriend but I can't keep dwelling on a couple things.

First thing - This fucking tattoo, I know it's so stupid but I am actually dreading it. I know it isn't my choice and that I have no say in it. It's just so damn ugly and he only seems to be getting it for the sake of it and cause it's sooo awesome I'm not against tattoos, but it's so nice to find someone that isn't covered in stupid bad ink. I don't know/like him well enough yet that I'd still like him unconditionally if he got it, does that make me shallow? I don't know but I know i"m probably making a bigger deal of it than it should be.

Second thing - I feel stupid for even saying it but....his ex. He said she is his best friend, ok weird but fine. We were talking the other day about going on a road trip at the end of the summer and he was like "Oh, we could go to Victoria and visit Emily" I was not impressed. The thought of going on a road trip to visit your ex does not appeal to me one bit. I've never been with someone whose been friends with their ex, and I've never been able to maintain friendship with an ex (Not that it's ended on bad terms, but because of the feelings that are still there) So that makes it really hard to understand how he is still friends with her.

He also said something when we first started talking that he was attracted to brunettes and a couple other things. Since facebook leaves everything in the open, his last two gfs were brunettes. Browsing though his past fb posts him and his exes would post comics and shit to each other and recently he was saying something to me about wanting to leave me lots of posts on my wall and I just cringed. I want to distance myself as far away from everything him and his exes did from what we do as a couple. I just don't want to feel like a replacement to the last two girls who are both very similar to me? Does that make sense??


I know I sound like a twat writing this and this isn't me at all, but I had to get it out and maybe you lovely ladies can put me back in my place.