I posted the thread about chores a week or so ago, and finally had a talk with my SO. I had cleaned the entire house, mopped, kitchen, bathroom in under an hour. We sat and had a chat about how I don't want to feel like I'm not appreciated when I do that and by cleaning up his dishes each time and occasionally doing something I ask of him would be great.

We seemed to agree that the dishes and trash would be taken out and I wouldn't ask much more of him during his days on shift. On the days off, I might ask for a bit more or to go get groceries or cook with me. I joked that if he was looking for a girlfriend to do everything that wasn't me and he should speak now if that wasn't okay.

Next day we are texting and the following texts were exchanged


Regarding last night, I've thought about it a bit and I've changed my mind
Well, I do kind of want a partner who would take care of the house and all that stuff
I was just thinking that we had a potentially unique and possibly mutually beneficial situation
Well, basically you make your own schedule and work as much or as little as you'd like. and it doesn't have to stall your career you can still move up into the next position as a casual
I make more money and probably always will, by a significant degree
So, if I took over most/all of the bills and you worked part time, you could still build your bank account, have your own money. You could base your schedule around mine and just take over household duties. We'd have more time together. Is that a terrible idea?

He mentioned something like this a while back about how I shouldn't pick up extra shifts if they ask because it can interfere with mutual days off, and I said that I wouldn't want to cut back my hours because its rare that I ever work more than 3 or 4 days a week (12 hour shifts get you to full time hours pretty quickly) I also am not keen on cutting back hours for housework, because we live in 650 square feet and it seriously takes an hour max to clean the place well. Add in an extra hour for grocery shopping and some time for meal prep weekly, its still not enough to justify working less.

We don't plan on having kids and I feel like I would just be extremely bored at home all day working less, he said that I could stay busy and do classes and shit but we all know how it is when you don't work....so many big plans and then you end up in front of the computer all day.

He is looking ahead to when he could potentially be picking up a lot of overtime might only have a couple days off at a time and and is saying that it would make more sense for him to get double or triple time ($70/105) doing overtime than for me to pick up an extra shift which might be time and a half ($30) but they don't give out overtime much at my work. So that when he had those few days off we can spend them together thus me working around schedule.

I see what he is saying, but I enjoy working and would like move up to be a dispatcher instead of just operator. Right now I am casual, and the girl that does scheduling is really great and has told me that if I send her Ds work schedule for the month she will try to work around it giving us similar days off. This is a super nice thing she is doing for me and if Im casual at 911 it will probably stay like that. However moving up the corporate ladder to eval, even as casual would be okay, but it would be another boss, another person scheduling I wouldn't want to go in there being picky about shifts so it suits D.

However... until I become full time which could still be two years away while I get enough experience. Would it really be that bad to be the kitchen cleaner, cleaner of bathrooms, launderer and cook in exchange for not paying rent or very little bills? I could spend my money on haircuts and clothes and all sorts of fancy things and still work the hours I am now with not much extra effort. I told him that he would still have to clean up after himself and if schedules lined up would like him to accompany me to the store or help with meal prep. I told him I do not want to feel like a maid or be his mother, I also wouldn't be happy if I was slaving away in the kitchen while he sat on his computer. He seemed to agree with that.

Soooooo what do you think? What would you do? Is this a good deal or am I going to end up resenting him for trying to domesticate me?