This month is when we "officially" shorten the distance. Back in October, his possessions were delivered to my house. For all intents and purposes, we now "live together" but he still doesn't live here... (he is active duty military) His "permanent address" is now my address, I am now his emergency contact, all of his mail is coming to my house.
On Friday the 9th, I fly out to VA to meet him to drive his vehicle and the last of his personal items to my house in Arizona. We're going to stop along the way and visit some of my family and friends so they can meet him. Looking forward to that... I'm a stressed about it a bit... we're on a time crunch to get home b/c on Thursday the 15th, his mother flies in for the weekend and I will be meeting her for the first time. I want my house to be perfect! I spent the weekend painting my younger son's room - the one she will be sleeping in - and I still have a lot of cleaning to do. Luckily she arrives at 8pm, so I'm hoping we can be at my house Wednesday night so we have most of Thursday to clean for her arrival... Well, I told him we MUST be home by Wednesday LOL. So... I stress over that also because his mom didn't like his ex-wife very well, and commented on how poorly she kept up their house. Now I know the woman was a slob and SO assures me that I'm "ms. clean" compared to his ex, but still I need the house PERFECT!!
This will be our first Christmas together. He told my mom he is wearing his dress uniform to church on Christmas... omg I can't wait!!! He's going to look so handsome!! I hate to be that girl that thinks about the gifts... but after being married to the narcissist for 20 yrs and getting shi*t for gifts, (that's a whole other blog entry right there!) I think at 44 I can set a standard! I want jewelry, and I hinted enough times about what I wanted and sent him ideas. Nothing super expensive... but I did buy him a new ipad, which he wanted and I know was expensive ($450) so I also know what his budget was for gifts and I sent him jewelry examples that were under $200. I'm not expecting him to spend $500 on me by any means... but I don't want another $15 watch and I don't want a new dishwasher either LOL
So this month is bitter-sweet... I am looking forward to spending over 3 wks together, but at the same time, I am sad b/c I know the time will fly. I am taking a lot of vacation while he's here as well. I dont want to miss a minute. On the 30th we drive to San Diego so he can report for his new duty and get deployed for about 5 months... some time in early January, but we dont know when. That will be the longest we have gone without seeing each other.
I have many mixed emotions about his deployment. For the past year we have talked, video chatted, text, and emailed every single day. To go from that to silence is going to be tough. I have the mind-set that, ok, this is how it's going to be... preparing myself for that loneliness. The day time won't be a problem at all... it's laying in bed at night, not being able to say good night to him that will be the hardest. I am new to military life and thankful that I only have to experience it for less than 2 more years when he retires.
On the other hand... there's part of me trying to look forward to it. (here's the coping strategy I'm working on) Maybe I am looking forward to not having to constantly text him or check for his texts or calls... might be nice to not worry about it. A little bit of freedom from not texting him that I'm going to the mall and might not answer the phone. Part of me is working hard on that and the rest of me knows that might work for a week and reality will set in. What I am genuinely looking forward to is sending him care packages regularly!! I can't wait to send him things. I've already started stocking up on cards and pictures of us, been researching ideas on what to put in it. I have no clue, but it's been fun looking.
so... while I look forward to all this time together, I dread it as well. Just thinking about him being gone, and worrying about him... is more pain than I've felt in a long time. The upside is, when he gets back, he'll be stationed in San Diego (a 5 hr drive from my house) and we'll be able to spend most weekends together! I'm also trying to stay focused on that!