Hi guys. I know I haven't made a blog post before, but I just need somewhere to vent to. So get ready for a whirlwind of emotions getting thrown out here. I just got off the phone with my dad just now, and btw I do not get along with him at all. Why? Because he is just the biggest piece of garbage I have ever met.

Let's start at the beginning. I was 12 years old when my parents got divorced. At first everything was really cool and civil. My brother and I would get to see him on weekends and we would just have a lot of fun together. Then he meets this "other woman" from the Philippines and everything just went down the shitter. I hate her. I really do, because of her my dad has become completely psychotic. She convinced him that my mother is pure evil and that she is the spawn Satan, and that she is a massive sinner that God will condemn to Hell because of all the sins she committed. She completely brainwashed him into leaving us behind to go on "mission trips" with her. He is now a big church guy who is now a born again "Christian". Yeah. No real Christian acts like this. A real Christian preaches love not hate, and they don't leave their fucking kids behind for 9 years without even a goodbye!!

Sorry enough about religion. Long story short my dad completely bails on us and once we both (my younger brother and I) turned 18 he stopped paying child support. In the state of Illinois, where we are from, that is completely illegal. You gotta pay child support until the kid is 19 in Illinois, so he owes my mother thousands of dollars in unpaid child support. Going to court went completely nowhere because he is so mentally unstable and completely insane that he would just have it dragged on and on. This took a huge toll on my mother stress wise and she ended up taking a settlement of $5000 (which was a little bit less of what he owes btw) just so this could end.

Anyway once that ended he said he wanted to try to be back in our lives again. Yeah. He hasn't been trying hard at all. He never calls me or tries to see me. He only calls on birthdays or holidays. I only see him like once a year, if anything, and that's on Christmas, and even then I don't even wanna be near him because he is just so far gone. He only talks about religion and politics. 2 topics I never wanna go into with hardly anyone because there is just something about those two topics that always sets me over the edge.

He also is real into the idea of wanting to go into business together selling god knows what. He thinks this idea is gonna make him millions and wants my younger brother and I to be business partners. This idea is a total fucking scam! That and he thinks that's the only way we could have a relationship with him again. This is what our phone conversation was about today and I just about lost it. I was shaking and crying harder than I ever did before. I don't wanna be coworkers with him I want a fucking dad! And even though he says he wants to make things better he can't even understand that even though that's exactly what I told him.

My step father, my mom's husband after him of 12 years, passed away recently at the end of August. And even though he was a piece of garbage too he was a better dad than my real dad ever was. As far as I take it my real dad died long ago too. He is no longer the dad that I loved and looked up too. He is nothing but a shadow of his old self and I just can't even stand to look at him anymore. My oldest brother was not his real son, but he raised him as his own and when this other woman appeared he stabbed him in the fucking back by telling him "I am no longer your dad and I never was to begin with. Don't ever call me anymore. I never wanna see you again." I'm sorry but no. I just can't anymore. Call me when you figure out how to be a father and what that means dad. I'm so done with you!

Thanks to whoever read this. Enjoy the rest of your day and or evening.