Today makes it 9 days that I've moved back in with my mother and brother after spending 9 weeks and 2 days living with my SO. It was an eye-opening experience for me. I feel like I learned a lot- about myself, about him, and about us. I wanted to keep up with this blog while I was staying there; it could've been helpful. Instead, I was consumed with my online summer course and trying to deal with everything that was happening on my own. It's funny and frustrating at the same time...I feel like I can't discuss the closed-distance with him because he views the whole experience differently than I do. You know what they say- there's one side of the story, there's the other side, and then there's the truth. All I know is that when i first got there we were both in bliss and I couldn't believe how perfect things were. Then he fell into a major depressive episode...and he wasn't able to climb out of it until a week or so before I was to leave. I haven't felt so helpless, alone, and frustrated in a long time. We did go to 2 couples sessions with his long-time therapist while I was there, which was probably good for us. I would like us to get back to a great place... This post doesn't do any justice to what I experienced, what was said or done, or anything. I just feel like even if I don't get responses that having a place to focus just on my LDR is good. I had considered having a section on my actual blog to discuss it but decided against it. And then I found this site and the blog feature. Maybe I'll get better at spilling my thoughts and feelings about it here. I'm just happy that he acknowledges that I'm trying to be there for him and for us. As of right now, we won't see each other until the end of September...the responsibility of traveling is on me since my mother said that he can't come here anymore. Hopefully we can work on some things before then and when we see each other it will be an even more appreciated experience...no wasted time and just taking advantage of what little time we have.