And it's not just about my SO. There are some days I literally don't feel like doing anything and I just want to lay in bed all day.

I've become very cynical and pessimistic about my life lately (not suicidal, just disappointed in the way things are turning out). Even more of my friends have gotten engaged recently, and I feel like I'll never be able to get to that point. Everyone has good jobs and I'm just here broke, trying to go to school. I'm bleeding through my savings trying to pay for my bills because I've become so lethargic and lazy about getting a job.

My anxiety has been through the roof lately too.

I feel like my SO won't wait for me to finish school, since I have like 4 years left. I feel like no one would want to wait for me.

Things with my SO are meh. They haven't gotten any worse, but they haven't really gotten better. And, yes, the whole seeing other people thing is completely off the table. We talked about it. Some days I just feel like ending it, and some days I'm hopeful and things are fine with us.

I wish I could afford Obamacare and get insurance so I could see someone and get therapy or put on medication for this because it's really bumming me out. Then again, I'm thinking it could be my BC since I switched to Amethia (Seasonique) in December, and I've never been this depressed/anxious, even with my ex. I noticed I've gotten like this after I started that BC. Good thing about that (if it is my BC) is that I only have to finish this current pack and then the next one (though it's 3 months worth of pills) and I'll be off of it. Probably going to have to switch back to Microgestin when I go for my annual exam since I won't have insurance. I never had problems with Microgestin, other than migraines when I got my period. And, I think the Amethia made me gain a lot of weight. Like 20lbs. Ugh. I would get off it now and switch back, but my mom already paid for them and they were expensive, even with our insurance they were still $180 for 1 3-month pack, and I needed 4 of them.

I do plan on applying to a bunch of retail places, once I revamp my resumé. Quick question though: My last employer fired me (he was not a good guy) and said he wouldn't recommend me and I couldn't list him as a reference. Can I still put him down as experience? But, I don't want any future employers to contact him. It was my first Dental Assisting job and I was there for almost a year and a half. Any help with this would be awesome. I may make a post in the forums about it so more people can see and give advice. Thanks in advance.

Anyways, that's it. Sorry for being meh in this post.