I've come to the conclusion that my depression may be creeping back. I was pretty depressed before we left for the USA due to certain circumstances coughmybossbeingacunt. The trip was what I needed to lift my spirits, although it was only short lived. Now that I'm back home alone, not many friends, without a job (I'm looking - have an interview thursday), and messed up sleeping patterns, I'm going a little nuts.

I've also come to the conclusion that Skyping with my SO makes me upset. Which is fucked up, because I miss him and all that, but seeing his face reminds me how far away we are. I've cried the last 3 times we've spoken and its fucking killing me. We talked about it last night. He encouraged me to stop focusing on the negative and think about the positive - that we even get a chance to talk and I need to take advantage of that. I realise I'm being stupid. I don't know if its hormones or what but I need to get a grip.

The last conclusion I've come to is that I am overwhelmingly sad due to the fact that everyone on my FB and here on LFAD is either getting engaged, married, closing the distance or having a baby. Its bittersweet seeing it. I'm happy for people progressing in their lives - it's a positive thing and something to be celebrated. But on the other hand, it's what I want most right now. I want stability and to be able to see a light in the tunnel, but I can't, not yet, and it seems so unattainable. It makes me incredibly sad that I can't be celebrating with them.

So anyway that's my wallowing in my own sadness. Off to do something productive - ie. play sims all day >_>