So I'm positive that it's pink eye/ conjunctivitis now. It has spread to my other eye. And I think it's viral not bacterial because my eyes are oozing clear not yellow. Yay for Dr. Google. >.> Did I mention I think people who self-diagnose are idiots? But viral is favourable because they don't give anti-biotics for that, so I'm not really missing anything by not going to the hospital.

Anyway, I read that if I'm a good girl and I just don't touch my face I'll look normal in 2-3 days... but it wont be gone for at least a fortnight! That's my idea of a nightmare.

Yesterday was terrible. I woke up fine in the morning, not too much swelling... I even walked all the way to work with both eyes open. I was happy. But then at like 4pm I came online, read one page here, and not being aware of my own action, I rubbed my eyes. I knew instantly I was in trouble. I couldn't stop.

So itchy, maddeningly itchy. Then the membrane over the white of my worst eye swelled out again, making blinking painful.

I remember laying down and clawing my face at one point. I remember keening and screaming and begging Obi (who wasn't here. i was home alone) to help me, to call me or somehow make it better. I'm relieved my landlord didn't hear my squeals, or didn't investigate. I had no clothes. (I'd taken off my work gear and was going to go for a shower after my LFAD + tea combo that I never got to indulge in.) I remember being scared one of the boys would show up for D&D and see me like this... but I kinda wanted someone to. I wanted my mum, or Obi - or anyone - to just hold my hands and get me through it.

I couldn't hold my eyeballs still, and they were rubbing against my eyelids... it made me panic, hyperventilating. Eventually I got enough control over myself to lay on arm over my eyes and hold them firmly still. I couldn't tell if I was crying or if that was just my eyes oozing. I was so scared. Some time later (felt like forever, but probably 30 odd minutes) Obi texted to find out if I was ok. Apparently my response scared him. I couldn't see what I was typing back. Somehow I managed to get up, dress, get dinner, get Obi's dinner packaged to go and curl up on the floor by the heater with one eye stuck completely shut. I didn't want to risk trying to clean it and get it open.

Our friends showed up. I told them I was on the floor because I'm cold (the heater is tiny). No one noticed my eye until we got outside. Obi came home and we left for D&D... it took a lot of fast talking to stop him taking me to the hospital. He even offered to pay it. I was tempted.

D&D was hilarious though. The first session I actually really enjoyed. We have a video of Obi running back and forth "into battle" singing a song about courage. Priceless!
It was hard to sit there, not scratch or complain, act normal. Felt almost sorry for the guy sitting to my right. He's an arsehole though, so that made it ok... he was very perturbed by my eye oozing constantly, and would randomly mention it. All I wanted to do was bite down really hard on the edge of the table or something. But I have some social graces

Three or so hours in Obi lent over and whispered to me that he admired me. He later told me that there was no way he'd have toughed it out the way I had and that the only real indication of my distress had been me squeezing the life out of his hand. That made me feel good at least.

Now, I just have to get through today... and tomorrow, and the next day... without touching my face. I don't have the distraction of being at work either. I feel better after writing it out of my system.

And the moral of this story is when you work in a filthy industry like housekeeping. WASH YOUR HANDS ALL THE TIME! Then wash them again. And don't touch your face. That is all.
Stay tuned for "Love and Relationships part 2" coming up shortly....