It's a sad slow kind of night isn't it? I'm getting that vibe from here. People are being offensive. Other people are getting so hurt. People are lonely. There's so much stress and depression and stuff.

I'm down a little too. Just a bit worried. Work took away my shift for tomorrow, so I only work 3 days next week. If I'm lucky that'll give me 18 hours. IF I'm lucky. So that's $180 how the *bleep* am I going to stay afloat on that? My rent will be extra for the next two months because I have to cover the utility use for my sister and Chris coming to visit. Then there's the food they'll eat. The road trip they want to take. Both their birthdays and Christmas. Ugh. I don't want to be letting them down either. Bec forked over huge amounts of money last year to support Obi and I when I wound up homeless. She covered a lot of the tourist stuff I did with him. She bailed me out. I'm not going to let her come here and expect her to pay her own way. NEVER. I know I know, it's just the temporary panic. Later I'll sit down and I'll micromanage what I have and we'll get through. I'm very good with money, and Obi will be here if I continue to have poor weeks at work. But still, it stresses me. He's beautiful though, he's like "More time to write!". I love him. And yes, we did discuss me going part-time so I could focus on writing. I guess the Goddess thinks now's as good a time as any. *lopsided smile*
I feel better already.

Thinking of that, NaNo goes well. I'm not behind anymore. Obi's nicely hinted that he'd be happy if I do tomorrow's word count tonight so that we can spend all day tomorrow uninterrupted, but we'll see. He's not home til 2:30am and seeing I don't work... it looks promising.
I'll tell you something really dumb. Sometimes NaNo makes me scared.
See, I sit there and I write and because it's NaNo the story progresses very rapidly. You have to just keep writing, and then the characters go places you didn't anticipate. I'm not one of those crazies who talk to their characters or who think they are not in control of the story... but when the momentum gets going you write things you didn't intend and it comes out so fast.. sometimes it's really smooth too. Downhill on the roller coaster. And that scares me. I don't really know why because progress is a good thing. Sometimes I don't want to write at all because I'm afraid it'll just take off again. How daft is that?!

Obi is quitting his fastfood job tonight. He's confident the other will hold and not let us down again, so that's good. He works too much. I hope he ends up with a shift next Saturday though, because I need an opportunity to trek to the other side of town and bury this damn book, and I'm better off doing it at night. If he doesn't work I don't know when I'll pull it off. I'd have to enlist someone's help or something. Even with him working next weekend, it'd be out there for two bloody weeks. I'm scared someone might find it or something.

And that's everything that's happening here.
Oh, and Bec's in France today, we named the new fridge Ken, I'm still excited about Christmas, I know Obi went shopping for me today hehe! When I've actually gotten shifts it's been nice. I'm still avoiding Johnny, so far so good. Oh, and does anyone want to recommend a good age-defying facial cream that wont make me break out in spots? Because I can't shake these bags and dark circles!