So, let me tell you about my sister and I's reunion and everything else.

The first night...
The plane was an hour late, but Obi is smarter than I am, and looked it up online, so we didn't spend an eternity standing around. We got to the gate perhaps 10 minutes before my family waled through. I spotted them first, and made my way to the divider railing mid-sentence. Then they saw us. Bec didn't say anything, but rushed to the railing, her face crumbling. And that made me begin to cry too. But, after a long over-the-rail hug we pulled ourselves together like it had never happened. I was really touched though. Bec doesn't do tears. That evening was great. A little surreal having them here in Canada. But great. We just talked and had dinner and hung out. And everything was nice.

Everything else...
And the next day, the nice stopped. It's been a bit of a nightmare since then really.
On Friday night and Saturday Obi had a LAN party to attend. It was for one of his best mates B'days and he couldn't not go - but we gave Bec's boyfriend Chris a copy of starcraft2 for his birthday (the day before they landed) so he could go too. Which turned out way better than I even hoped. Friday itself was alright, I had the day off but Obi didn't so the family and I just walked around town and did some shopping. I had a nasty fall outside of wal-mart though, and it's made my hip flare up, so now randomly I lose the ability to walk. It's getting better though. I've had gimpy hips for years, I'm used to it I guess.
But anyway, once Chris and Obi went off to play Bec started offloading all her problems onto me. Heavily offloading. I'm used to people turning to me, I like to think I'm good at being there for people. But it's just been too much... it was the same Saturday arvo/evening too, as soon as the boys left -bam-.
Now, our childhood was rather messed up. Mum had issues. Big ones. But the 4 key differences between Bec and I are that I was the favorite child and she wasn't, and she copped more abuse (especially physical abuse) than I did. It's hard to watch someone you love suffer as much as Bec did, but being the one who watches messes you up in a different way than being the one who takes it. Additionally, when mum died, she left Bec and this idiot of a solicitor in charge of everything. And some of you know the problems we're having now. Mum's bf is trying to take our house... Bec's paying hand-over-fist for the solicitor who doesn't seem to do anything. 100 times I've wished that mum had put me in charge instead, but I get why she didn't too.

Whatever, it's understandable why Bec is stressed. But the fourth difference is that I got therapy and Bec didn't, and wont. I really wish she would. Whilst I wish mum had done things different (especially with her will, Dear Gods!) I understand why she did them. I can forgive her for the abuse I received and can even see the parts Bec and I played in that. Mum essentially was a good person. No one is perfect. She did the best job she knew how to do. Yes, she had serious problems, but she was still one of my best friends and I'd do anything to have her back. That's a tangent though. The point is, mum's episodes were always worse around Christmas (which unfortunately is only a few days after Bec's b'day) and now Bec suffers more around Christmas too... she's very bitter and angry and can't let go.

So she's offloading her stress over the house, her bad memories (not off of which actually happened, but I'll get to that), and her relationship stuff. Now, we were all sure they'd be engaged by the time they got here, but Chris was made redundant last year and so hasn't had money for the ring (besides, they just toured Europe for a month, that's a huge money sink). Chris is a bit romantic and was quite upset that he couldn't do his dream proposal, but to make matters worse, Bec has no sympathy at all. She's afraid of the commitment which is reasonable, and understands that it's just the money that stopped him, but instead of soothing him about it, she just lets him think she doesn't care at all. A big part of how they show love to each other is through jokes and insults, and I get that even if I don't really agree, but there are times where he wants to just open up and be loving and she seems to just want to squash him flat every time. It makes me sad, but if they are happy, I'm happy too.

Which brings me deeper into this rant. She keeps criticizing Obi and my relationship. After dinner, for example, he'll thank me for cooking or vise versa. If we've both worked together, we tend to both thank each other. We also thank each other for helping around the house etc. This is apparently sickening and we're only nice to each other because we have not been together very long. Excuse me? We've been together only 6 months less than her and Chris, and we had five years of history together before that. She's like "You wont still be like this once you've lived together 8 months" but we've lived together non-stop since September last year and have lived together alone for nine months. Obi pointed that out and she's like "then give it another 8 months, it wont last. You'll see I'm right."

There's obviously something wrong with us because if we're together, we're often touching. We hold hands or cuddle when we walk, or if we're sitting together. And if we're doing separate things at home, we'll stop to cuddle or see how the other is doing randomly. We don't fondle each other or make out in front of them or any of that. We're not trying to make anyone uncomfortable. But she often has a narky comment to make if we're being nice to each other. We're only nice to each other because it's a new relationship or some other excuse. That's nice. Now shut the fuck up. You know? We show each other respect and love. We don't order each other around. We care what the other thinks or feels and act accordingly. It's not rocket science.

She also has a problem with how we manage our money, because we don't combine. For the most part it's 50/50, on the outside at least, but we know we're tangled together and it's all really "our money". But our system works for us. I know what he earns and where it goes, he knows roughly what I earn and what I do with it. We help each other when need be. This is apparently bad management and shows we're not seriously committed.
Yet they don't combine funds either and she lies to him about how much she earns - by a big margin. (I'm a fool because I don't do this. Heaven forbid Obi know I have my own savings account.) Things aren't 50/50 only because Chris has struggled to stay employed. Chris would feel a lot better if he could contribute more. But, who cares what the guy thinks right?

I feel better for whinging. Bet I'll have to break this into chunks by the time I'm done.

So then Bec's B'day rolls around and she's all depressed about getting old because she's 25 and hasn't achieved very much. Or something. Well, she is very generous. If she'd stop helping people, she'd get further. If one of her mates is in trouble, she'll hand over a grand and the shirt on her back without thinking. She's lovely, but it isn't helping her on a person level. But this year? She's seen 14 different countries this year! She has a wonderful boyfriend who's dying to marry her. She had family who love her and are going out of their way to make her stay enjoyable. I feel like I'm being slapped in the face and that she's ungrateful.

Yesterday (Monday) I was just grateful I could go to work and get away from it. I felt terrible for that because I wanted this visit so bad. And things looked a little better when I got home... but then after dinner she had a stab at me that ruined it all.
I'd said I'd do the dishes (even though I cooked) because I knew Bec would be unable to sleep with them staring at her, and I feel bad because She's done almost every load since she got here. (Because she's a neat freak and does them 3 times a day and I feel that's excessive, but I didn't say that.) Chris offered to do them instead and then Bec's like "No, let her do them. It's unlike her to feel bad over something like that, don't want to miss the opportunity." Of course I wasn't taking that lying down, and I responded "How would you know what I feel?" she shot back "Oh I suppose I don't know you any more just because I haven't seen you in ten months." It was 11, but hell I'm not correcting her. I decided to just let it go rather than fight... but... I'm a hard worker. I NEVER sit on my arse when someone else is working, especially not in my own home. So that was unimaginably offensive to me.

Now…
I wrote most of this in the morning but didn’t get a chance to post before I took her out to shop today.. which was nice for the most part. She’s been pretty nice to me today… but as soon as we got back she started on poor bloody Chris who’s now hiding in the bathroom pretending to have an epic poo just to avoid her and I’m just left feeling awkward and alone.

If you read all that shit you’re a champ! Thanks for listening.