Yes. I stole my title from MJ >.>
I'll start with the main thing thats on my mind, and then I'll tell you all the other little things if I have time. There's a good plan.
Well obvioulsy weddings are suddenly on my mind - specifically mine. Everyone is sooooo happy for us. Everyone but the one person I want to be happy for me that is.... My sister. Warning: rant incoming.
She's older than me. By a year. That's it. And she's unmarried.
Now, Chris desperatly wants to marry her. They'd have been married two months into the relationship and have at least one kid by now if it were up to him. But she had other big goals first, like travling, that take precidence. Which is smart, I'm not judging her at all. Marriage isn't for everyone, and really, we're both young so *shrug*
But now that I'm engaged and she isn't? Ugh save me. Now, I know she supports us, she loves us both and it's nothing more than jealousy, but she's hurting my feelings pretty badly.
For one thing, she's been engaged before - never married - but she's been there done that, so she acts like she's some kind of expert and keeps bringing it up. No offesnse to anyone here, but having failed engagements in your past isn't something you need to be THAT proud of. But, because this is all old hat to her, she acts like I shouldn't be excited, and I've caught her doing quite a bit of eye-rolling when other people dare to get excited for me.
We were talking about it in the car and she tells me that she'll make sure she's married before I am, and that they have a date and everything that she wont tell me. And I'm like "If you want me there, I need a date so I can make sure I'm actually in the country." She also wants to use... oh what's the name of it? It's a money saving trick (that I'm not supposed to tell anyone about, whoopse) where you have a fake cake, and then it's "taken out back to be cut" and pre-made slices are given to the guests rather than actual wedding cake. She tells me all about this... then tells me I can't take her idea, like it even matters. (I wasn't planning on it, I'm not really a showy person anyway) But yeah, all these small petty things are just bringing me down.
Last night Obi and Chris went out to a movie with all the boys, and Chicka and her sister came to hang out with us at home because none of us were terribly excited about Tron. Now Chicka is BIG on weddings. She's obsessed and will be one of my bridesmaids. She's helpful and enthusiastic and knows all that girly crap I never cared about. So, she wanted to look at dresses and talk colours and themes and locations. (Once I told her she'll be there regardless of what country, all pressure was off) It was actually quite nice, though this wedding stuff is likely to get tedious fast lol. Of course this gave Bec the opportunity to come out with even more narky comments... Like how she's not going to give us a dime to help (very unlike her, but I didn't and wouldn't ask for anything from her and I certainly wasn't hinting! It was out of the blue and just bitchy.) and how she's not going to come to any bridal showers/hens parties or any of that other stuff that I might not even be having. I'm like "It might be in Australia, Obi hasn't ruled that out. There's no reason at this point to assume you can't make it." but then she just went into a rant about how boring weddings are.
Additionally, I'm uncomfortable around drunk people. I don't mind some moderate drinking at my wedding, but I dread anyone getting trashed. She's telling me how all my guests need to get drunk other wise they wont be able to get through it. Ok... sometimes the ceremonies are long and tedious, and I'll be concious of that when I'm writing our ritual, but she's talking about the reception too. Like its a chore for our friends and family to support us. If you're bored, leave. Seriously.
There are other small things, but I think you all get the gist of what's going on. I know it's just jealousy and that she loves me, but dear Gods, love does not conquer all.
I'm thinking that while I still want her to give me away, that might be the extent of her involvement. She's too unstable for anything else, and that's kinda sad really.
But aside fro wedding related stuff, things have been much better. Christmas was great, no one said anything to upsett the other side, it was pretty smooth sailing. Now Obi and I are on holiday and we're planning stuff and taking them places, and it's been nice. Bec's still... randomly mean and unstable... but it's at the level I'm used to now, so it's mostly nice. I do look forward to them going home though, and that makes me feel terrible on the inside.
And not that I am picking sides, because I think the way your sister is acting is terrible but I can sort of relate to her. My sister's been married twice now and I (the older sister) have yet to make it down the aisle once (and score me for having failed engagements as well). It is difficult when you feel like it's a competition, even though it's really not one. Maybe just talking to her and pointing out what she is saying is hurtful may get her to back off and keep the snarkiness to herself.
Just remember, loads of people are thrilled for you and it's your day so whatever makes you and Obi happy will make everyone else happy to see it.