So, my last few blogs have been downright depressing. Sorry about that. I'll do better this time.

But first, an update on the last blog.

So, we had our little heart to heart on Wednesday night, then he trundles off to work yesterday morning. Last night when he came home he seemed so happy. We were still a bit off, but he was home at 7:30. If it hadn't been a Thursday he's have been home on time, and I was just so greatful to see him I let it go.
As soon as he walked into the door he picked me up, carried me into our room and just hugged me, showed me he cared, tried to make me feel wanted. It was really nice. He then helped me cook dinner, and we played some WoW and had fun together riding around on our giant chicken-emu beasts. It was good. Normal.
Then in the shower he says "There's something that's still bothering me..." and tells me that the president of his company has asked he work the weekend too - for the project they are about to start, not for the one that's due to finish today.

Now I've told him before that he'll get a better reaction if he doesn't say this shit to my face because my first reaction is always negative. I tell him to text me, and that way I can deal with it in private and put on my supportive girlfriend knickers before I'm supposed to respond. So, I was like... ugh. I guess that conversation didn't get us anywhere at all. He's like "I asked you to give me time! Til the end of the week." And I'm like "When I say I'm going to do something, I start then, not whenever the hell it's conveinent for me. I said I'd give you a chance, yes - but you said "til the end of this project". This is the next project, I swear you think I'm some kind of ******." Really, I do think he takes me for a fool a lot of the time. It went on for a bit and then, because I don't want any misunderstandings I reminded him that I intend to be his first priority for the rest of his life. The only thing I will let come before me will be his children. I said "If you can not do that for me, you need to let me go and find someone who can."

Later I backed down a bit and said that if he wants to take the shifts this weekend that's fine. At least it's paid overtime, and he does need visa money. But I expect him to be home on time tonight at the very least and I expect to see him start standing up for himself on the unpaid overtime banked hours shit. Gods, I feel more like his mother than his woman. It's a horrible feeling.

It occured to me thismorning that I've grown up a lot though. In my last relationship when things went south (well further south!) I always asked "What am I doing wrong? What can I do for you to fix this?" Now, I'm smart enough to realise I have needs too, and to stand up for that. I don't know if that makes me proud though, or just more depressed.

But we'll see.
On to the happy stuff!

First off, I solved my ring delema, and that was a relief to both of us. I was just playing with the thing while forumizing.. moveing around on my fingers. I'd decided to try and find a metalsmith who'd force a resize and take the risk of destroying the ring. So I wasn't really looking for a solution. Then I was bumping it against the knuckle of the ring finger on my right hand, just thinking. Now, nearly everything on the right side of my body if fatter than my left. Even my hair is thicker. I wear a claddagh (sp) that my mum gave me, and in winter I tend to have it on my right hand, in summer my left. I'm thinking this hand can't be more than half a size bigger - right? So I decide to try to force this engagement ring onto that hand. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit painful, but surprisingly I didn't break my skin and I got it on. Woo triumph! I took it off to make sure I actually could, then smiling shoved it back on. The little nubs on the inside really are effective if the ring is in the right size by the way - I highly recommend them if your rings are heavy and tend to spin. So I can wear it now. I thought Obi might go and get his knickers in a twist because it's the wrong hand and he's stubborn about a lot of stuff, but nope. He goes "If anyone says anything against it to me I'll say "She's Australian, they drive on the wrong side too you know!"" Adorable.

What else? I looked up the visa stuff for Obi's family for the wedding, and it wont cost them a fortune like I feared. They are elegable for an ETA which is $20, issues online, very easy to get, allows a three month stay. Phew!

Obi asked me last night if I'd help him get the money together for his visa. I was surprised he asked. He's come along way. But, with me helping him, he can apply before the end of the month. (Not having debt means I save very fast even on my shitty income.). The down side to this is if Bec calls me home for the legal house stuff I wont have plane ticket money. But, I think it's a safe risk. When Marc got this same visa Obi is getting it took a full six months, so we'd like to get cracking!

Another good thing is that I'm off today and am excited to write. Well, edit. I only have like four chapters that I need to make cohesive (they are quite whack) and then I can hand them to Obi for editing and I can go back to the start of the book and add in the second round of stuff I need to add. My desktop background is absolutly littered with post-it-notes. I don't know why I bother having a desktop wallpaper anymore. Then my mate Rosser has volunteered for the second round of editing. I'm not sure how I feel about that, I never let people read my stuff... but, it's not a draft anymore and a fresh oppinion can't hurt. I know Tanja also wants an extract too. Trying to get brave enough to post one or something.

Obi's found a list of publishers for both our countries, and is researching everything I need to do to make this happen. He was doing it in his lunch break at work and the president of the company comes up behind his and was like "Are you looking for work?!" Hahaha

Welp, something smells bad in here, so I'm going to go, clean up, go to the post office + bank then come back and attack my future with vigour. I really need to stop letting the depression slow me down. Rawr!
I feel better for writing this though, thanks for letting me plaster my mind here once again.