I know you're all sick of me whinging. And I'm not even in an LDR! Welp, not making you read this. *Shoo*

I just.. ugh. I can't stop crying. I'm so stressed my hair is falling out in clumps, I shit you not. I shake. I've had so many panic attacks today. I left work early. I feel sick.
But I'm determined to do what I can to help. I found one of Ma's best mates on facebook and she says she'll help. I'm texting with Bec right now to get Bec to call her. She'll give us a statement.
Then I tried to track down "Aunty Gwen" my shrink - who was mum's shrink as well, and I believe she might have counciled Dickhead too. That's when things got pear-shaped. I couldn't contact her via email or facebook, so I found her number and was going to just phone via skype, so I enter in my credit card details and say "go". Well for my security the commonweath back have a sms system now - they sms a password to you to verify you are the person using your card. Hello fuckers it's $16 who cares? Well someone obviously does. My card is hooked up to my Australian phone which no longer works, because it's an Australian creditcard. So I call the bank and tell them this. They ask me for my phone bank password, and I don't have one so we go the secret question route instead. I made these questions two and a half years ago and they were so childish they were funny, but, I couldn't remember the order of the two objects in the second answer, and the idiot on the phone typed it in wrong too many times, thus locking me out of the account - including my netbank - entirely.
So now I get to fax them a whole whackload of shit to prove that yes it was me on the phone you ******s and call them back. Yes, because for some reason they think I have the money to keep making international phone calls that leave me on hold for ages.

So now what? Still two hours til Obi gets home, if he gets home on time. He better. He knows how destressed I am. He offered to attampt to leave early, but I know I'd be crushed if he couldn't manage so I told him not to try.

I didn't have the balls to ask my boss for a raise today either. I disapoint myself.

This also means I can't pay the reception deposit I'm supposed to pay today because I was going to use my Aussie savings in that account to do that. I just want to get something out of the way, even something as little as this.

So frusterated. So lonely.