But a little different this time.

The one thing about having so much Jesus shoved in my face recently is that it's given me the resurgence of faith I've desperatly needed for month n months. Mom would be horrified if she realised I'm sure.

Anyway, on a more practical note I know I also need a job/career that is compatable with an internationally nomadic lifestyle (ie, not based on seniority), is somewhat compatable with Obi's unsteady employment, is compatable with my dream of being a novelist, is compatable with having children next year and not putting them in daycare, isn't 40 hours a week and doesn't destroy my soul in the same way housekeeping does.

Some people are all putting their career first and fitting life around that, but I'm not like that. Love and family come first, and I'll find a job that works with that. When I needed a job that had flexible hours and didn't interfere with my LDR I found one. When we moved here and I needed a 9-5 job so we'd have evenings together, I did that. Now we're moving home, where I'm allowed to study and have a few years to do it - but I need to maintain this relationship, get pregnant and hold a job at the same time. - See the inner workings of the mind of a Miriam.

So, long story short, my faith resurgance has bought back to me all the big dreams I had as a budding Wiccan, and how I feel like one day I'm going to change the world. I do want to do something BIG! Haha, I'm not going into my absurd dreams here though. But, I can start on an easy level and get my celebrancy - so I can legally marry people. After which I can get other qualifications for other rites of passage too.

The courses have a distance option and a classroom option. I haven't picked one yet, but distance is cheaper. I hate distance ed, but I've excelled in it in the past, so I guess I don't have to like it I just have to do it.

This is big for me. I've battled socail anxiety for years. I wont do public speaking, and have big regrets about it. (For example, I didn't speak at my own mother's funeral, and no one else did either. Because no one else did, I felt like I'd let her down. Pretty sure you don't care when you're dead, but anyway...). I've always avoided public speaking, it's terrifying. Yet somehow this seems different. I've taught rituals before. What's the difference between teaching it, and doing it infront of a bunch of people? The speaking tasks for the diploma are actually more frightening to me lol. Guess I better get over it!

I'm excited to get started. I wonder if my family will be supportive or just horrified

Life is good.