I'm ok with it now... Obi and I talked, and finally he tells me he's shit scared too. He thinks about the fact he doesn't have a visa every day. He doesn't want me going home without him. He reckons he holds this stuff in because he doesn't want to worry me, but heck I'm already worried so I'd rather know he cared too.

We worked out the date the High Commissioner recieved the application, and if it takes the minimum of three months and not a week over, there's this tiny tiny iddy biddy chance he'll get the visa. So for all intents and purposes, we're now planning like he wont. It's better to not be disapointed.

But, I've thought a lot about it privately too, and I'm truly ok. I've almost got myself convinced that I'm looking forward to being temporarily long distance. (As long as he comes home by December, because I can't live with Bec forever - we have to set ourselves up and we have a wedding to plan). I even know the first "thing" that I'm going to do for him if we do end up LD again. But, it's a secret for now lol. There were a few things I wish I'd had a chance to do, so I may as well do it - and you know what? We'll need all that this time, because I bet going LD after living together is a shit-tonne harder than what we were used to before.

My hilarious supervisor Bal perked me up on the subject too. Apparently 15 years ago when she married her husband to immigrate to Canada it took TWO FREAKING YEARS to get the spouse visa. So, they got married, spent 20 days together and then *poof* he was gone for two years. She said "You can not live without your husband, even I only meet him 20 days you still love and can not be without" And I just thought that was adorable. It also makes me happy to know they do love each other, and did from the begining. (She told me about their wedding night and it mildy horrified me, plus like many westerners I kinda just assumed they don't love each other because they don't choose... but I like being wrong)

But, even at it's worst, we will never wait two years. We will never have to. And I can be greatful for that.