I did a pathetic little workout (no really it was) and showered, then I went all-out for Obi's birthday. I did my hair and make-up and broke out some earings (my ears are pierced, but I nearly never wear earings because they get infected every time I get stressed and I'm stressed a lot haha) and my good jeans. I looked pretty hot, and that always helps. I also made Obi a "cake" for his birthday. It's an instant no-bake cheesecake. I know this stuff can not be good for you. Well, I didn't read the box right and I mixed the "filling" with the biscuit in it... so it came out looking nothing like the box. But oh well. Obi loves me anyway. At least it's not as ugly as last year's cake which erupted into some kind of giant cupcake >.>
It really is the thought that counts.
Often I'll walk the dog two blocks down to the bus stop to "pick Obi up from work". And so off we went, and he told me all about his day. It made me want to leave without him. He loves that job so much, I think it might just be the one thing I can draw enough strength from to get through. The guys treat him so well, and while I certainly don't approve of them drinking beer at their desks or having shots of bubblegum vodka for birthdays (both his and another guy's earlier this week) while on the job, or passing around a joint (which Obi will never take, I know this) I like how they've included him. I mean he's bearly been there two months, maybe not even, yet they still treat him the way they did the guy who's been there 5 years. He comes home happy every day. There's another project lined up right after this one, he has no risk of losing this job.
Last year when things were bad and he had that job from hell I was having a spack (I was pretty miserable because I never got to see him and had nothing else in Canada that made my days worthwhile) and I'm like "What do you want?!" and he replied "I want to be successful. I want a successful relationship and a successful carrer." (Following this was a very successful discussion on balance
) Anywhoo, the point of this memory lane visit is that he has his successful relationship. And he'll have that regardless of what country I'm in because he puts in the hard yards. Maybe I can be manly enough to grit my teeth and not suffer obviously while he puts his efforts towards his carrer now. (Granted, if he gets the visa in time there's no force on earth that would keep him in Canada)I've even started making a list of things I can do for him for while I'm gone. I might have to get his family on board for some of them though, but I think they'd do it. They were here when I made 100 and something little painted hearts and covered his walls with them and they didn't hack on me at all.
I can do this. We can do this. And in 11 days I'm going to do this. And you all will be in awe at how cool I am.
Ok, that last part wasn't true lol!
Love love and Carrots!
even if things don't go the way you had wished for them initially, i'm pretty sure they will go well.
you and Obi are a dedicated couple, and put an emormous effort in maintaining the good quality of your rapport! it won't be easy, but you'll come out of this experience stronger as a couple, and even more eager to start your married life together (if that is even possible!).
Hang in there!
*BIG hugs and homemade vanilla ice cream*