We talked of course. He was dancing all around it like it isn't happening, I can't remember what he said but I called him on it, I'm like "We have to talk about it you know. It'll be easier when we have a plan." So we discussed when to knock his flight back to. I had a really lucid dream about a month ago, and I don't at all believe in the power of dreams or any of that shit, but it told me we're looking at mid november. I don't know why I think it's so right, but I do.
He wanted to push the flight back by a month, two at the most, but I'm like "Do we want to take that risk? What if it doesn't come in a month? How devo (devistated) will we be to have to push it back a second time?"
So we agreed on three months. Late Nov - early Dec (before or on the 4th of course!) and if it does come within a month or whatever, he can always move the flight date closer, which would be a heck of a lot less depressing! I don't mind forking over $250 dollar so see him a month sooner. I do mind paying that because we were too cocky again.
His parents have both asked me on seperate occasions to push my flight back too, like this solves everything. It doesn't. I'm like "you give me 2 grand and I'll do it." Because I can't move the flight, it's international one way and I'm not Canadian. Rules are rules. But even so, I've been here 8 months longer than I was supposed to. My family need me now, it's time to go. So, I'm going, the end.
He's cute though. We were bickering last night because he didn't want me to move the random things that were on the bed back to his newly cleaned desk, but there's no room in here. It's tiny and there's zero storage. Every time we turn around we need to move something out of the way to do so. I'm like "Just put up with it. I'm gone in a week and then you'll have plenty of space!" and he put his sad face on and goes "Don't say that... don't say it like that. You'll be somewhere else, but you're not gone" I'm like "That means the same thing." He's like "Well if it means the same thing we can say it my way. It hurts less." Awww <3
He also told me "You'll still be here every day" which answers another question. I know how he expects us to deal with it, and I'm happy for that. We're slipping back into the role play.
Before, we never directly mentioned the distance. We pretended it wasn't there. We'd log on to skype or msn when ever we could, and then we were "together". (This mind-space is always his house, it's unspoken agreement. lol) If we need to go to another room, I'd either take my laptop, or we'd say "I'm getting <something> from the kitchen, you want one?" just like if we were in the same house. Half of our lives was/will be a role play.
He's told me he's willing to shift his work hours too so that we're more compatable, and he's never done that before <3 We're trying to find ways I can still attend D&D, which is exciting, I don't want the rest of the friend-group to forget me either! But it's a challenge. One of our other mates moved to the next province, so we've been skyping him in via my laptop. Obviously I'm taking my laptop home with me, so we need to find a way to skype both of us in! Mom said we can use her laptop. Now we either need a second laptop, or free conference software. (Taking suggestions!!)
My cat is snoring very loudly. <3 Messiah. That's another thing that was sweet yesterday. I was on the floor communing with the little beastie and Obi observes "I can't and never will be able to doubt your commitment to "us"" and he points at my cat. It's true. I don't need to marry him or make promises. I already went through the greatest gesture I ever could that I'm wholly in this
I bought my cat to Canada. And now I have to say goodbye to him. Yes, I'm totally skyping him though. And that's not wierd at all! I don't want him to forget me.Obi's had to take several days off work for doctors appts, and needs to work saturday to make up for that. I got all pouty over that and the fact he has to take a day off next week for it too (to get some stiches out) and he wasn't going to take the monday. I leave on monday!!! WTF? So, to make sure he isn't gone the entire saturday he's going into work an hour early every day this week. And he'll change his doctor's appt to the Monday or I might need to kill him.
I want to order flowers for him for the Tuesday. I don't know if I'm brave enough to send them to his work or not or if having them here when he gets home is enough. Mathematically I should be off the plane by the time he gets home, but I'm pretty sure we wont talk at all the first couple of days because I'll be with my family and I'm not going to be rude and run off to my laptop at the first chance I get, and I wont have a phone number.
I've always wanted to send flowers.
And I'll hide notecards everywhere like always!
So much to do this week. But no motivation. Where did the sun go??
(trying to look at the bright side of things!)
I always admired your attitude when you were LD cause you never seemed to be down or sad about it! I was like "how the hell does she do it???" So I have ZERO doubt that you will be ok this second time around. You're too awesome to fail at anything
I hate to say this but I kinda wish we could go back to LD for a bit (not for too long obviously) but long enough to remind us what we've been through and why we never gave up. It doesn't matter how many times you do it, when you're in love it's always gonna be worth it. LDR's rock!